Blame Canada

The last articles about photography were not (just) about photography, of course. There’s a more profound message in there.

You see, people like to excuse their poor behaviour in this life with bad circumstances- it’s either “I had an unhappy childhood”, “I was of the wrong species, race, gender, or social status”, “this world sucks” or “the Devil made me do it” in general. What I want to say is that this argument amounts to “my photos would have turned out better if I had a better camera”. Yes, they probably would – by 5%. Everything else is you. I mean, sure, there are circumstances where you literally can’t do anything, but I assume that people reading this weren’t born fatally retarded or crippled, or so poor they died in infancy. I also assume they aren’t Gypsies who were forced into a life of begging on the streets with no education or prospects. So yes, I understand there are circumstances where you literally can’t do anything regardless of who you are as a soul. I also understand that this doesn’t describe the normal population in the West, especially the subset that reads blog posts on the Internet. The analogue to that would be trying to do photography with some kind of a toy camera that produces only one type of picture, with very little variability or flexibility to accommodate creative efforts by the user. Yes, some people are born or have been put into a position of passive victimhood with no agency. But that’s not you.

I’ll tell you a story. When I energetically connect with students, I am basically limited by the common denominator of abilities of the energetic system – basically, the state of the spiritual-physical interface in the physical body. In most cases, when I “enter” such a person’s physical energetics, I am limited to what they can do. However, in several instances I felt no limitations whatsoever. One of those was a female student who is known for her clinical lack of self esteem and ability to feel and project power and self-confidence, and usually feels she’s a victim of this or that; basically, the kind of person who lives on the leftist forums on the Internet where everybody is a victim of some shit, and they all applaud each other for being courageous and overcoming their circumstances and what not, when it’s all of course a lie. None of them overcame jack shit, they are there because they want to wallow in raw sewage of zero-agency. But I digress; anyway, I connected with her system, and if one were to ask me what I would expect, knowing how she acts, I’d probably say I expected all kinds of limitations and problems. What I experienced was my full unbridled power without any limitations whatsoever. It felt like jumping into a formula one car and instantly qualifying for a pole position. No limitations, no restrictions, no debuffs, instant full power that matched my own body that’s been trained for it by gradually extending its limits for years, and she had that by default. If someone put me in her body, I’d be able to manifest my full unrestricted spiritual power. That makes you think what she would do if you put her inside my body? Yeah, the same things she’s doing inside hers. It’s not the body that’s restricting her; if anything, her soul is under-utilising the body, as if the body was built for someone extremely demanding and competent, a formula one car built for the world champion, so to speak, and it’s being driven by someone’s grandma who keeps stalling it and crashing it into trees. Intelligence and mental abilities? The same as mine. Transparency and capacity of the nadis? The same, to the limits tested. Chakras? Identical capacity and transparency, to the limits tested; it drives high spiritual substances without any effort. Kundalini flow? Tested to my normal capacity with no issues. Reaching inner space with high energetics? No issues whatsoever. Even the idiosyncrasies of the system were adjusted for my type of energetics, which means I don’t have to adjust the yogic technique to the specific properties of the body, because everything just works; essentially, I could be in her body and instantly give spiritual initiations, or wield my Shivaratri whip across multiple mahat-tattvas. One may ask how is it possible for someone to just have a body like that without any kind of yogic practice? Well, some people are just born lucky, I guess, or she had a super beneficial karmic contract. She was given a body of a super-yogi avatar or something, and I just had to make myself one, because mine didn’t work anywhere near as well as hers by default. I had to stretch and extend its abilities. She could just Thanos-snap her fingers and draw the kind of power that took me decades to slowly build.

But yeah, she thinks she had terrible circumstances and bravely fought against them. I disconnected from her, and she was the limp sock again, the body waiting for orders that never came from her soul.

Yes, maybe if you had better circumstances you’d do better. Then again, maybe you’d do the same, and the better circumstances would serve as evidence of your incompetence and unworthiness as a soul. Sure, blame Satan, or Canada for all it matters. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and get good.

Photographic frustrations

While we’re at photography, I have to mention that I’m hugely annoyed by the fact that everywhere I look on the forums or the YouTube people are exaggerating things into hysteria. By that I mean the extreme and opposite “cults” – on one side, you have those who think they need to have the most technically sophisticated equipment in order to make anything of value, and on the other hand you have the “lo-fi” groups such as lomography, who intentionally screw things up as much as possible technically, and people in those groups are all supporting each other in the most extreme nonsense.

The truth, of course, is that both sides kind of have a point. On one hand, equipment is important, and I often found myself just staring in awe at the beautiful renderings from a high-end lens or a camera, that manages to get parts of the image completely crisp, just to seamlessly flow into toffee-sparkles of blur. However, it is also the case that photography is much more than merely a formulaic thing where you get the best hardware, apply a correct technical procedure and get everything sharp from corner to corner, and you have the perfect photograph. If I had to describe my personal attitude, I’d say that for someone who sees photography primarily as a way to capture my own thoughts and feelings, and not the things in front of the lens, I’m very technical about it. 🙂 So, let me make a small exhibition of photos that combine things that would make people in dpreview forums have a fit.

Equipment: Canon 5d, EF 35-70mm f/3.5-4.5. That’s the lens that’s almost never seen outside of lo-fi circles, because it’s one of the first EF lenses ever made, dating from 1987, where it was sold as the kit zoom for the EOS 650 film camera, the first in the EOS lineup. It is so lowly rated that it’s not even seen as something that deserves testing and rating at all, and putting it on the 5d would be seen as a ridiculous “lomography” move. Let’s see some more pictures I’ve taken with this combo:

The macro shots are taken using the extension tubes. Nothing fancy, just the cheapest stuff from ebay. The results, however, are very much not lo-fi. In fact, I could make prints from the original raw files that would be as big as anything one could realistically print from the 13MP 5d sensor. B2, no problem. B1, possibly, but I’d have to massage them somewhat, but those are all material that can go between 70-100cm on the longer side. Mind you, I’m more interested in color than resolution and sharpness, but there’s plenty of both. Let’s see the next heretical combo: using Olympus E-PL1 micro 4/3 mirrorless pocket camera with its 14-42mm plasticky kit zoom, that would be universally poorly rated:

How about using Sony A7II with the FE 28-70mm f/3.5-5.6 kit lens, that’s always trashed in the reviews as something you should immediately remove from your camera if you want the pictures to be any good:

Those pictures weren’t taken with said equipment because I wanted them to look like shit, or because I didn’t know any better. The files are all B1-print sharp. There’s a saying “if it’s stupid but it works, it’s not stupid”. In this case, if “inferior” equipment creates results that get a green light from me regarding technical quality, maybe it’s not inferior. Maybe, just maybe, you’re just holding it wrong, to paraphrase Steve Jobs. 🙂 Or maybe people tend to lose perspective when they compare gear. For instance, if a lens renders closeups with glowy spherical aberration and ethereal softness, it’s only an “optical defect” if you’re trying to use it where those effects detract from the image. Also, if it’s “only” tack sharp from f/8 to f/16, and you use it for landscape photography, what’s the problem? Also, colors are either ignored or hard to test, but if a lens renders beautiful, crystal-clear and perfectly neutral colors, should that somehow matter less than resolution in conditions you don’t intend to use it for?

I had the misfortune of being forced to produce results in life using whatever was available and working in conditions that would be immediately dismissed as unfit for anything, and this is not just about photography anymore. If you don’t have a hammer, use a rock. If you don’t have perfect conditions, learn how to turn imperfect ones to your advantage. For instance, I learned to meditate in conditions so terrible, that I could later resist all kinds of interference. If everything tries to kill you and fails, you become indestructible. I was always annoyed by people who keep whining about their tools and conditions – they can’t do anything spiritually because they don’t have a perfect guru, and don’t know the perfect technique of yoga. In reality, that usually means they are more interested at finding imaginary flaws in order to justify their inaction and inertia, than they are at figuring out a way to avoid the obstacles and make things work anyway.

I had an experience at the University in early 1992 that changed my perspective on excuses forever. You see, one of the professors had a rule that you can’t be absent from more than 5 lectures in a year, or he won’t allow you to take the exams, basically failing you by default. Before one lecture a girl approached him and gave him a letter of medical excuse for her absence. He said, “Young lady, you misunderstood me. I do not care whether you were absent with or without a legitimate excuse. If you were absent from more than five lectures, you simply cannot have sufficient knowledge to take the exam. Therefore, the reason for the absence doesn’t matter in the slightest”. This clicked incredibly hard – nobody cares about your excuses for failure. You just have to find ways to succeed, because there’s no other way to avoid disaster. It’s basically like climbing a cliff; you have to find a way to do it perfectly and avoid falling, because if you fall, nobody’s going to give two shits that the cliff was slippery or the rocks were crumbly. If you failed for “valid reasons”, you failed and you’re fucked regardless. So get your shit together and figure out a way to make things work and to attain success. That’s probably the reason why the whiny “demanding” people annoy me. They think excuses matter.

 

Thoughts

I’m watching the coverage of the LA fire and multiple things cross my mind.

The first is compassion. It’s extremely easy to get caught up in it, and I’m thinking, if I had to map the areas of the world where the most guilty people for all of today’s evils live, the place that’s burning would be in the top 3. And yet, when a man’s house is burning down, you feel bad for him and want to help, especially watching from a distance, when you don’t know who the man is. And that made me think further – what do we even know about all the people who are suffering? If we knew the karmic background, would we still be feeling sorry for them? We see a little girl who lost her limbs in a petal mine explosion and we feel sorry for her, but what if she were a cruel man who raped his baby daughter and this is his hell? If we saw him before, we would feel righteous anger and curse him with all our strength to be punished by God to all the extent of justice, and yet, now that we no longer see that past life and the context of the suffering, we see the maimed little girl and wish damnation upon those who caused it – and the godless people of course always blame God for such instances. In case of those Americans, we know that all the leftist propagandists live in those burning houses, we know that most of those people are the ones causing the virtue signalling hysteria, insisting that men can menstruate and women can fight men in combat sports, insisting that women be hired as firefighters and soldiers, and that some stupid fish species should be given its favourite brackish water at the expense of the LA water supply, because imagine the suffering of all those little fishes in water whose salinity isn’t to their liking. So, misguided compassion can be said to have greatly contributed to their misfortune, and now I feel misguided compassion watching their fate.

Would we ever feel compassion for anyone if we knew the whole karmic background? It’s easy to see the victims and instinctively think them innocent, but innocent victims seem to be a very rare kind in this world: basically, the Christians think there was only one in history, and his suffering was redemptive for all of mankind. If they are hard pressed to think of another, they will name his mother. And yet, I don’t think it’s all that simple. The circle of evildoers who in turn become victims is for the most part merely an aspect of this world, where the wheel of samsara turns to make both evildoers and victims from everybody, and they all keep investing their energy into the system, trying to make things right, trying to have a better opportunity, trying to live a better life, causing harm, trying to repent for it and fix it, ad nauseam. People who are deluded and think they are doing good, but are in fact doing great harm, while pontificating about virtue by eating their vegan gluten-free toast. People who watch their houses burn and feel compassion for the innocent victims, investing energy and focus into the world, bleeding into it to make it fertile.

Buddhists have the right idea about compassion – they will say that the intelligent person will see all that cycle of projection, suffering and ignorance and feel compassion at those suffering from it, but the solution is to detach them all from the world, from this entire cycle, and not keep feeding this fire with gasoline. Essentially, proper compassion is the kind that liberates from the world, not the kind that gets you entangled and the kind that gives the world’s victims the feeling of validity of their endeavours here.

Another thing I noticed is how illusions shatter. Expensive homes, expensive computers and other gadgets in them, expensive cars, the illusion of untouchable and powerful America, it all burned down and turned into a heap of burning trash. It suddenly doesn’t matter which model of car, phone, computer or microwave oven it was, when it’s all lost – and guess what, that’s what happens when you die. You lose all your material possessions, it no longer matters which brand your watch, handbag, car or phone it was. No more status symbols. It’s just you, and what you are, in your true nature, stripped of things and illusions.

Hell

I had a very interesting private conversation recently, about what happens to the sinful souls that would be expected to end up in hell. I’m going to share the conversation here because it’s universally relevant:

Honestly, your description of hell as ceasing to exist actually sounds pretty good. I mean what’s so good about existence anyway? If all these souls commit all sorts of evil actions and their only punishment is non existence, that sounds like peace and cessation of suffering, while all the good souls are kept alive to suffer and be tortured. It doesn’t make much sense.

It’s funny that it always does sound good to people, but it’s really not. It must be a matter of semantics, or direct insight.

The death of the soul feels like that worst emotional pain you can feel here, but caused by the direct realisation of how completely you fucked up, committing the worst offence, making the worst choices that resulted in terrible suffering of others, basically knowing that you were the instrument of Satan that made this world a hell. Emotional suffering of this karmic actualisation is unbearable and causes the soul to break apart into multiple components, that either continue to break apart or form a stable remainder that is always of a significantly lower “mass” than the original soul, basically it’s comparable to a degradation from a human-type soul to a cockroach-type soul, and it’s not the end of existence, it’s just the end of continuity of existence. It’s like watching your friends graduate, get married, have successful careers, while you are lobotomised and degraded into being someone’s chicken; losing all the connections you had in a long spiritual lifetime, and hoping to eventually evolve, in untold eons, to where you’ve already been, and where you fucked up.
No, it’s not good. It’s worse than any imaginable kind of loss, with more ability to perceive the extent of it all.

Now that you put it that way, it does sound pretty shitty 🙂 Thanks for clarifying, I was thinking it would feel like taking a general anaesthetic or something, just go blank, but that sounds horrible.

There’s another thing. The way I actually observed it working is different from what I described. I described the internal mechanism – karmaśayas break, it destabilises the karmic structure, it loses cohesion and breaks apart. From this description, one would expect a soul to suffer from some kind of agony of conscience that eventually kills it. I never saw anything like that happen. What does happen, in my experience, is that the worst sinners have absolutely no problems with conscience. Especially after they discarnate, they feel completely blissed out, living their best life, and sin, that’s a formality, they are never bothered with something that would reduce their personal happiness (which is probably why they happened to be such terrible humans). Also, Sanat Kumar is an excellent example, because he did absolutely horrible things for a very long time, and he had absolutely no issues with conscience or karmaśayas decaying naturally. So, what kills them isn’t some internal physics of karma, but a result of an external judgment. In 100% of perceived cases, an authorised judge evaluated them and made a verdict which was instantly actualised. Apparently, a lot about karma is very vague until someone looks at it and makes a determination, basically opening the Schroedinger cat’s box. Once the verdict has been made, everything is instant, or almost instant; it happens so quickly that my human brain is really an obstacle in perceiving things that take place so quickly. One moment, you have an evil soul that’s completely blissed out in its self-absorption because it’s now in the astral plane and everything is wonderful, then the verdict is made, and instantly that soul no longer exists, but when I seek out remainders, there usually is something, much smaller, a vague sense of existence, and it’s a painful one, some kind of an agony and deep humiliation and a nasty environment, because apparently conscience and realisation of sin works much better once judgment of God is passed. I feel there is much more to it than that, though. When I try to slow memories down and take a very careful look at it, it seems that the verdict closes the horizon of perception and time, which normally seems to leave things open and undetermined; this verdict creates determination of karmic consequence, which matures and actualises instantly, unlike what happens with encapsulated trauma (aka “larva”), which is wholly dependent on your subjective perception. In this case, it’s about objective judgment of action and its transformation from undetermined into determined form, similar to how the wave function collapses from probability into certainty at the time of detection. When karma becomes determined and actualises, I think only then does my description of what happens become relevant – the cohesive forces that bind soul-particles into soul are overpowered by the repulsive forces, similar to what happens in an explosion, and only if a part of the soul is unaffected by the verdict, ie. not sinful, does it continue existence in some way, but it doesn’t look like a happy kind of existence, more like a nightmarish hell, where one is incredibly diminished, cast out of heaven, and feels spiritual pain for probably all kinds of reasons – remorse (because that part of the soul is healthy enough to actually have conscience that would hurt when showed one’s sinfulness), loss, and so on. So, unlike what the religions imagine, where a soul remains whole but is cast into hell, either eternally or temporarily, it seems that the soul first “explodes” and all of its “fatally unhealthy” parts are completely disintegrated to kalapa level, and only parts that are healthy enough to retain cohesion survive the event, but it’s not a happy kind of survival, because the context of their existence was some kind of a hellish nightmare in every instance I perceived.

Purpose and meaning

My son recently got into photography, and, as those things usually go, he started experimenting with film, since he heard all kinds of stuff on the Internet and wanted to check it out for himself. My reaction was “wait, film is actually still being used?” The last time I checked, Kodak went bankrupt and stopped producing film altogether, Fuji left the film market, and when I did my last experiment with film you could no longer get anyone to process E6 properly, and the best you could do was get some of the C41 emulsions that were still being produced (mostly Kodak Ektar and Portra and Fuji Reala), develop it in some rare places that still do it, and then either have it scanned in their Frontier minilab (to your detriment), or try to do it yourself, and good luck with that since film scanners were basically an extinct species at that point. Since the result of my experiment was that a 12MP m43 digital camera matched Mamiya 645 medium format with Fuji Reala negatives in resolution, and handily beat it in dynamic range and colour quality, I decided that film is not worth the hassle anymore, put the film gear in a drawer and thought that was it. However, it appears that the film market was having some kind of a resurgence – it’s mostly because of the motion pictures industry that started using it with some regularity again, and those C41 emulsions are being packaged in 35mm and medium format rolls, and black and white film was never much impacted by the move to digital. Also, there’s a surprising amount of activity around film, but when I looked into it, I was shocked that I couldn’t find good examples of film photography online anymore. Almost every example of pictures taken with film that I could find online looked like absolute garbage. I was like “that can’t be right, there has to be someone who shoots film because it’s beautiful”, but if there are such examples I couldn’t find them under the pile of all the hipster lomo garbage. I literally had to use my old film scans in order to show my son what film colours are supposed to look like when everything is done right – fresh film of good quality processed in good chemicals and scanned on a proper scanner. I literally couldn’t find an example of EBX online that isn’t cross-processed in C41 chemicals or developed in cat piss and scanned by a webcam or something, pretending it’s art. My first thought was “why do the film photographers put up with this”, but then I realized: they are actually actively looking for that, and when I saw a “film emulation” plugin for Lightroom that emulates the results of poor scanning, it became clear: people think film looks like shit, and they actively seek out this as a result, thinking it’s “nostalgic”. They actually want it to look washed out with colours that look like a result of age-fading for decades in some drawer. They don’t try to make film look good, because that look is perceived as “digital”. Not just that, but they are so obsessed with the “look”, that they completely neglect the photography itself, thinking that the “look” itself is somehow “art”, and when you look past the fact that the photo is taken on a poorly processed colour negative, there’s hardly anything there. A house, a street corner, a garage door. It’s all generic, stereotypical, vacuous and meaningless. Sure, most of everything used to be that way because most photographers used to follow trends and copy the things they saw somewhere without really understanding what made it good, but I think it’s even worse now, probably because poor results get applauded in some online echo-chamber and this amplifies the noise and kills the signal if there ever was any.

I continued to explore the technical part of what they are doing today, and found out that scanning, as expected, is a problem, because they are still using the same scanners that were current when I used to shoot film, but those are aging out of their life span and people are figuring out new methods, and the best one is to basically put film on a lightbox, and take a picture of it with a good digital camera with a macro lens. The detail captured is pretty much on par with film scanners, and the colours are in fact better. Then I asked myself the obvious question – why not just use the digital camera in the first place? And then it started dawning on me: that would be easy. That would skip over all those artificially introduced problems. It would reveal the fact that the photographer doesn’t actually know what he wants to do, has no ideas or goals in his work, and hides this under all the artificial problems created by using a completely fake technological process that pretends to be authentic, the way vinyl records mastered from digital files are a fake process pretending to be authentic.

Then I went deeper, trying to figure out why people create artificial problems for themselves and then whine as they solve them – it’s not just photography; I saw people heating their house with a wood stove or have an old car that keeps breaking down so that they have to fix it, and in general create all kinds of problems for themselves, and then solve those unnecessary problems in order to pretend that there’s something going on in their lives.

And there it is: they create fake problems for themselves because there is nothing else. The real problems are completely beyond their ability to solve, and the lack of smaller, solvable problems reveals the fact that their lives are empty and meaningless, and they are trying to bury this realization under all kinds of artificially created clutter.

Here’s where I really started thinking, because I remembered that experiment with a mouse utopia, where the scientists created an environment where mice will have absolutely everything they need, and the mice soon started acting in all kinds of dysfunctional and self-destructive ways, and their “civilization” collapsed in a very ugly way. The phenomenon became known as a behavioural sink, and humans seem to manifest the same patterns. When they lack obvious obstacles and problems to overcome in their daily lives, they reveal their existence as meaningless and start circling the drain.

Apparently, everybody needs to have a sense of a “mission”, a grand over-arching purpose of civilization and society, in which they partake by living their daily lives. If there’s no mission, and the problems they face daily are too easy and trivial, both mice and people go insane.

So, what’s the mission?

That’s an interesting question, because the same question seems to have contributed to the fall of the Roman Empire. The mission was initially obvious – Rome was threatened by the Gauls, by Carthage, by all kinds of powerful neighbours. However, as Rome grew stronger, all those threats were eliminated, and as there were no obvious threats, and there were centuries of peace, people had enough time to think about what was the whole point, and the answer was no longer apparent. People started doing all kinds of extreme stuff to fill the spiritual void created by the fact that there was no longer an obvious problem their existence was meant to solve.
This is why Christianity took over the Rome like a wildfire. Christianity introduced a new mission. The physical life is merely an entrance exam for the true life that is beyond it, and what we do in life is a choice for either God or vanity, for eternity or nothingness. This is a mission, an over-arching mission that saturated both civilization and individual lives with meaning, the same kind of mission that made the Egyptians build the pyramids. They probably thought they were building the mirror image of the Orion’s belt on Earth, and as such they were building a portal into the afterlife, merging Heaven and Earth. Similarly, the Christians of the “dark age” thought they were building Heaven on Earth, living the Augustinian God’s Kingdom on Earth. However, for some reason this sense of mission wore out, probably because they neglected the things of this world to the point where they were philosophically vulnerable to modernity and humanism, which pointed out that science should be applied to produce technologies that improve daily lives of people. At some point, modernism took over from religion, and the idea of conquering the world with science and technology and creating a modernist technological utopia became the dominant over-arching purpose.

This made complete sense when there were entire continents to be conquered and colonized, but we quickly ran out of those. Then we started “conquering” wastelands like Mt Everest and Antarctica, where “to conquer” no longer meant to go and live there, but to go in and out quickly before you die from hypoxia and hypothermia. “Conquering space” first meant to put something into orbit, then to put a man there for a few orbits, then to put a man on the Moon for a short period. However, the pattern soon started to emerge: space is even more hostile than the worst, most hostile and uninhabitable places on Earth. If you put a man in orbit for a year or so, his health degrades significantly. If you put a man on the Moon, radiation will quickly kill him, not to mention that there’s literally nothing there to sustain human life – it all needs to be brought from Earth, at great cost and literally zero benefit, because there’s nothing on the Moon. If Antarctica is undesirable as a place for human settlement, Moon is even more so; Antarctica at least has breathable atmosphere and radiation shielding. So, what’s there in space after the Moon? Mars? Let’s see: corrosive soil that is hostile to life, thin unbreathable atmosphere, no radiation shielding, already lost its atmosphere once to solar wind because it has no magnetosphere, and it’s even more expensive to get there than to the Moon. Also, there’s absolutely nothing there worth getting. What’s next? The satellites of the gas giants? Far from the Sun, so insufficient heat. Some have water. None have breathable atmosphere. Extremely hard and expensive to get to. Also, there’s nothing there.

Planets around other stars? Sure, if you have faster-than-light travel, but speed of light is very slow and it seems to be an insurmountable barrier for our technology. However, even if you get there, what evidence is there of places that are hospitable to human life? None. For all we know, the planets are all as inhospitable as Jupiter, Mars, Venus or the rocky bodies, and the star systems are mostly non-unary, which means stars orbiting the barycentre, often creating 3+ body problems of chaotic orbits, and squeezing each other tidally to produce extreme coronal mass ejections that sterilize the planets periodically. In order to realistically colonize something outside the Solar system, and not just go somewhere else to die, you’d need FTL travel that allows you to inspect a vast number of star systems quickly in order to filter out the inadequate ones. That’s completely beyond the reach of our technology, either now or in a foreseeable future.

Also, science fizzled out. It promised a lot, but the curve of progress flat-lined decades ago, and there’s nothing going on other than marketing for industry and politics, because science is currently a marketing brand rather than a method. Science no longer promises great things, and even if it does, people don’t really believe it.

So, let’s summarize this before it turns into another book. In the Ancient Egypt, the Grand Mission was to connect Heaven and Earth, to build a portal between the world of the living and the world of the dead. After that failed, their civilization fizzled out. With Rome, the Grand Mission was to build a huge empire to protect themselves and project their image upon the world. After that succeeded, everything felt empty and people tried to fill this emptiness with all kinds of crazy behaviours, until Christianity gave them another Grand Mission: create the world in the image of God, and choose an eternal afterlife in God. At some point, this fizzled out, and science offered the next Grand Mission: master the physical world, conquer the world, then the Solar System, then colonize the nearby star systems, and create a Galactic Empire, and maybe become Masters of the Universe. That went great until people landed on the Moon, but the next step never came, and as our space exploration atrophied, and our efforts turned to all kinds of navel-gazing, culminating with the Internet, people in general feel there’s no Grand Mission at all, no point to Everything, and thus no point to anything, and if they face this outright, they go insane like the mice in their behavioural sink utopia. And so, in order not to go crazy, they create fake problems for themselves, like living in some wasteland on primitive resources in order to keep themselves busy with survival despite not needing to, or doing photography with film, or maintaining an oldtimer car that keeps breaking down, or doing Christmas every year, where they pretend it’s something meaningful to do, spend all the money, get annoyed by the family and relatives, get fat from too much food and hung over from too much alcohol, and depressed in early January when all that shit passes and they are left with more debt, more lard on their arse, and meaninglessness of their lives staring at them from the abyss of the future. So, what do they do? Invent fake goals, create non-existent problems that require fixing, and make everything worse so that they could feel they have a purpose in making things better again.

There’s obviously a real problem underneath all the dysfunction, and it needs to be addressed, not just covered up with pointless nonsense. To me, the answer is obvious. The purpose and the point of our existence is not in this world, it’s on the other side. If this life is to have a purpose at all, it is to get to the other side safely, without leaving pieces behind, and by choosing the right kind of spiritual existence for ourselves, the kind we would actually want to have forever. St. Augustine was right all along; it’s just that people got side-tracked by materialism, which hijacked science and turned it into a false theology. God is still the Eternity which we are trying to reach, by following the Ariadne’s thread of God’s presence through the labyrinth of the world. That is the Way, for both the civilisation, and the individual person.