I was just thinking about one possible misunderstanding that might occur due to my style of writing and speech. You see, I essentially never make outright commandments or prohibitions. I mostly just give my reasoning as to why something is a bad idea, or might have bad consequences, or why something is a good idea.

There are several reasons for this. First, it’s a matter of your free will to do whatever you personally feel you need or want to do. I will just state my opinion, which you might accept or ignore. Second, bad things can be useful. For instance, I read many books that were bad, or outright wrong, but reading them helped me understand how people who are under this or that misapprehension think and feel. Not only that – I occasionally do things that are not wise or recommended, just to test whether my understanding of the principles applies. Of course, there are things that are so outright harmful that trying them causes irreversible harm, and those are always to be avoided; for instance, ingesting chemicals or doing other things that cause brain damage, permanent injury or death. You don’t want to hang yourself or inject yourself with heroin just to see how it feels, for instance. However, it is my experience that all kinds of evil or bad things can be turned around and used to create the kind of wisdom that would otherwise be hard to attain. Basically, doing wrong things and getting wrecked because of it can teach you very valuable lessons about why certain things are bad, or why certain paths don’t work. The reason why I have such a good understanding of things is because I tried many things that didn’t work, and not always intentionally; basically, I learned some things by fucking up so badly I barely survived. The formulation I usually make, saying that something is not recommended, or that it is dangerous, can therefore mean that it is likely to destroy you, but if you survive, you might gain extremely valuable insight, and it’s up to you whether you want to take those chances or not – after all, it’s your life to waste or destroy if you so choose.

I guess this relativistic attitude towards things that others might judge as fatal is a result of my prolonged practice of detachment; you can call it vipassana if you will. I see it all as energy behind this or that vector, and everything can be powered and un-powered, redirected and powered again to test something. “Ah, this is evil, so I know what evil feels like. Now, power off. Wind down. Change direction, slowly add energy. This is good, so this is how it feels.“ Tantra would call this “game” a dance on the edge of a sword, and the sword is indeed sharp.

Non-yogis live in a different world, where they believe that “their nature” compels them to do something, and choices can’t be undone, they need to be punished for the bad things and so on. I live in a world where bad things need to be decoupled from energy and powered down. Where non-yogis think of themselves as victims of things that happen to them, I see myself as someone who can kill processes, create new ones, change priorities and the percentage of CPU power behind each, and so on. Also, I’m not afraid of failure, pain, misery or death, and I see them as merely “things you might want to avoid”, and if you expect stronger wording, you might misunderstand. After all, failure, pain, misery and death can accompany one on their way to God, while another might succeed in things all the way to utter doom.

When I started working with students, what I taught them was very conservative, in the sense that the entire lore of yoga from the most ancient times was based on the very same principle. This principle is, in essence, to list all the things I did that resulted in not dying, not going insane, and attaining great spiritual results, and have them re-trace my steps. To introduce anything that varied much from my own spiritual practice would be, in my opinion, insanely dangerous.

You see, I had very good reasons for all the things I did, and those good reasons had very much to do with not dying and not going insane. I didn’t just pull something out of my arse out of sheer boredom and said, “I should be a vegetarian, that’s something that’s currently in”. In fact, there’s an interesting story on how I became a vegetarian, very soon after I started the practice of yoga. I did know a thing or two on how to meditate, having been proficient in autogenous training, and in one of my first attempts after the darshan/initiation I had a very powerful experience of the “OM” vibration throughout my mind and body. When I say “powerful”, I mean it in a sense of feeling as if it could kill me just like that, just because the resistance of my energy system is too great due to impurities, or if anything went wrong. I was very, very glad I stopped smoking weeks earlier, and the argument against vegetarianism that was universally recommended by all the Hindu teachers, “what would I eat”, was immediately ignored in favour of sheer survival. Obviously, I had to follow the instructions of the people who did this before if I wanted to increase my chances, and introduce changes only if I know exactly what I’m doing. This stuff was very real and very powerful, and very scary.

What I didn’t know at the time was that the majority of those people (orange robes, fancy titles) actually didn’t recommend the stuff they did because the opposite is spiritually or energetically harmful, but out of purely traditional and ideological reasons. Vegetarianism is one of such things, and it’s specific to India; in Tibet, for instance, the very advanced yogis like Milarepa ate meat whenever it was available, and he noted a marked improvement in his spiritual and energetic condition after eating meat. Another thing those swamis are actively trying to prohibit is sex, with all sorts of claims about its spiritual harmfulness. While I certainly won’t tell you that watching porn and promiscuity aren’t spiritually harmful, it is my experience that the most harmful aspect of sex is doing it with the wrong people, from a wrong state of consciousness, and feeling guilty because you think it’s spiritually harmful. What I found out was actually harmful was accepting students and talking about spirituality with others. Essentially, working with students creates spiritual/energetic links directly into your mind that are very similar to the links created when you have sex with someone, only deeper and stronger, and those links are bidirectional. They allow your influence to help the students reach things that would otherwise be difficult, but they also allow all sorts of garbage and disturbances from the students to flow into your mind. This meant that controlling the students, in a sense that they should always maintain spiritual discipline, was paramount. What actually happened is that they for the most part explored all kinds of desires and paths they felt they have the power to pull off now, and the extra energy I was feeding them, that was supposed to feed spiritual ecstasy, ended up feeding hysteria, egomania and madness, in a very large number of cases. All of that was fed back to me and drove me crazy; in fact, I didn’t actually go crazy only because I underwent full vajra initiation prior to working with students, so my spiritual core was beyond such influences, but I understood why all those spiritual teachers go hedonistic and insane – it’s caused by the students who don’t obey the instructions, don’t focus on God, and as a result create a stream of madness that is fed back to the guru, destroying his astral body. In my case, destruction of the astral body is not a big deal, because if I’m left alone for a few days I can rebuild it from above, but if someone is not a vajra initiate, the damage can’t be undone. So, basically, what I found out is that eating meat is not a problem, sex (with the right person) is not a problem, but plugging your astral body into multiple undisciplined people who show signs of potential by reacting positively to spiritual energy, that’s where spiritual people go to die.

Another thing transpired in ways that are obvious in hindsight, yet defies “spiritual” expectations – money is a huge problem, and not in a sense that “money corrupts” or something similarly silly, but in a sense that not having money is not survivable in this world, and so if you have things to do here you must choose between dying and failing to achieve your goals, and trying to get money in ways that might compromise you spiritually. Lack of money caused a constant struggle and huge problems of all kinds, and the most ridiculous thing is that I heard all kinds of “spiritual people” saying all kinds of nonsense about spiritual harmfulness of having money, as if money will somehow tempt and corrupt you. No it won’t; what actually corrupts you is that you didn’t purify your spirit, you aren’t clear about your desires and goals, you suppress things instead of dealing with them in a transparent way, and when you have lots of money you basically pour lots of energy into all that suppressed and unresolved mess, and then all hell breaks loose. What I found out when I had significant amounts of money is that it doesn’t make me do anything I normally wouldn’t. Basically, it allows me to deal with problems that can be solved with money, and that’s it. If my computer breaks down, I can just replace it with one that’s current and good. If my car breaks down, I can either repair it or buy a new one. I can buy a home instead of renting it, and I don’t have to live in some shithole because it’s cheap. Yes, if you’re a “raw” person and you didn’t do any real work on understanding your desires, motives and so on, and someone just removes your limitations and allows you to do whatever you want, it’s going to end badly, probably in the same way things tended to end badly when I fed spiritual energy into my students that would otherwise be beyond their reach. Feeding energy into an unresolved mess inside someone’s astral body is most likely going to make this mess explode and set it on fire. Money is basically the same thing; however, the path of restriction, of not allowing yourself the means and the energy because you fear what you’re going to do is just wrong. What one needs to do is resolve things within himself and understand his desires, and then practice detachment and focus on transcendence. Restrictions and discipline, in my experience, are a great tool in the beginning, but there is a great danger in just leaving them “turned on”, and not resolving the underlying issues because it’s “messy”. Yes, dealing with messy things can spoil your impression of yourself as a pure and very spiritual person, because sometimes you need to deal with very nasty things, and you might not like yourself very much while you do. However, once you’ve actually dealt with them, you find out that you no longer need rules, restrictions or much of a discipline. Sure, some things in this body and in this world tend to feed themselves if left unchecked, so you occasionally have to say “no” to some fancy gadget, but as for the moral restrictions and regulations, you don’t really need those. The religious people tend to imagine all sorts of nasty things one would do if they had no commandments, laws or restrictions, but in reality, do you really need laws to prevent you from diving into a septic tank and drinking sewage? Not really, I would guess; well, that’s why I don’t need laws to prevent me from snorting cocaine from a hooker’s arse. If I’m left alone and unchecked, I meditate, read books, analyse what’s going on in the world, think, write books and articles, do photography and take walks in nature. The difference when I have endless money is that I do it on a more expensive computer, with a more expensive lens on a more expensive camera, and I go to a place where I actually want to be, instead to a place that’s affordable because it’s nearby, and I drive there using a more expensive car. I don’t just magically turn into a pig-werewolf that rapes and kills teenage girls and is stoned and drunk most of the time, just because I have money and no restrictions. The way religious people imagine these things is ridiculous, and is probably a result of awareness of what would happen if they had no restrictions put upon them. That, however, is not the path of yoga. A yogi would rather revisit his “caged pig” and gradually transform it into an angel of God, and you don’t have to keep the angel of God caged to prevent him from fucking everything that moves and ingesting all kinds of drugs. That is not to say that restrictions and discipline are not necessary; I started with them, and I’m sure my students would have found them very beneficial and it would have spared me many problems if they had, but it’s merely a phase that keeps you from going crazy and doing something you will later regret, until yoga had the time to do its thing.

So, the conclusion would be that some things that are commonly seen as dangerous can in fact be harmless or beneficial, while some things that can be seen as beneficial, such as compassion, can be deadly. This means there really is no substitute for having your brain switched on, and observing what’s going on inside you and around you. You can’t just accept some set of religious restrictions and think you’ll be fine; it doesn’t really work all that well for religious people, if you read up about all the scandals. Also, most of the stuff that the religions try to restrict is just misguided; for instance, trying to regulate people’s sex life and food. Instead, if you learn how to disconnect thoughts and emotions from energy, in a practice of vipassana or yoga, to power anything up or down, to see how things actually function under the curtain, where the cogs and wheels of things are turning, you can make very swift progress and actually control things by removing the energy, instead of applying the brakes. Control is absolutely necessary, because in this world we are immersed in satanic energy that forms the background of our every thought, and if you don’t pay attention, the tide is going to wash you away and you’ll drown. You just need to be relaxed and smart about it, that’s all. Relaxed attention, and the ability to disconnect power from any emotion or thought at will – and you find out that control is not hard, if done properly.

So, let me elaborate further on the practical implication of the “spiritual palimpsest” I described in the previous article.

What it means is that, in absence of your soul providing an overriding influence, the default, strongest and most influential force is the one provided by the global astral field, which is designed by Satan in order to produce just the kind of humans he likes. What happens to those who remain in that state when they die? They go to hell? In my opinion, that would actually be an upgrade for them, because if they are merely the satanic energy churning in the pool of generic unawakened not-really-being, that gets reused between bodies, and it’s like asking where does the electromagnetic force go when the motor isn’t working and the current isn’t flowing. Well, the electromagnetic force is created when the current is running through the coil. If the current isn’t running, the electromagnetic force isn’t being created. It doesn’t go anywhere.

The next question is, what is “self”, the “I” in all this? Vedanta says that self is the witness – the screen in the cinema, so to speak. Since the world is projected on the screen, self is present in the background of all beings. However, self as witness is not a karmically active element, and I am more concerned with self as the active element, of will and choice – not only asking “who am I?”, but deciding on a course of action that choses “what am I?” among the presented options.

So, let’s say we have the default Satanic energy saturating the spiritual life of all humans, as the baseline default, omnipresent like the gravity and the electromagnetic field of the Earth – I call it the global astral field. Then we have individual incarnating souls, imposing their individual karmic pressure upon the field, and locally overcoming its influence in order to create a specific being they will incarnate through. This ability to manifest presence here isn’t “free” – it has to be purchased from the owner of the place; at least, a “contract” has to be signed, agreeing to his terms. The other option is to purchase rights through karmic law, if the owner sins against you, and thus yields authority. The third option is to inherit the effects of previous incarnate beings’ actions, if they applied spiritual force here within the sphere of their authority, creating localized “presence” of high states of reality, that then saturate the place in certain ways.

This, in essence, means that if God wants to manifest a presence here, he needs to agree to Satan’s terms. Usually, this means that he can’t just come here and overrun and overcome everything – but he is allowed to present options, because that is the stated intent of Satan when creating this place, and he always has to concede this. God is allowed to have presence and representation here, and is allowed to present choices and, in fact, to be a choice here.

Also, when an incarnation of God (I’ll simplify it; in reality it’s incarnations of many different aspects of God that are Divine beings as such) creates a presence here, this gives the nameless God a name and a form, it leaves a trail in the global astral field, like lightning in the dark, only persistent, and this network of trails creates a sort of Ariadne’s thread that allows the incarnate beings to navigate the maze – they have other options, besides the satanic global field, to choose from, and thus decide “what” they are. This choice of “what am I” is essential, because it connects different layers of reality, allowing the higher to override and extend the lower, in object-oriented paradigm. The basic stuff remains, of course, because by virtue of being incarnated you have the body that works in a physical reality, but “overriding” a property means to rewrite code of a method; sex, for instance, is a good example, because it is one of the primary driving forces here, and although the physical part is common to all, the spiritual part differs wildly, because a person who made actual spiritual choices to become of God will rewrite their “sex” method, not necessarily consciously, but it will reflect spiritual choices, and so the primary element of sexual attraction will be spiritual, and the rest will be “inherited”. I actually don’t know how to explain this to a non-programmer, but the “inherited” code is executed after the new, original code; it’s like explaining “differentia specifica” of Idared apple sort. You write what makes it special, and then “inherit”, saying “the rest is common for ‘apple’”. In logic, you would say that “Idared apple is apple with the following specific properties: …”. Stating that it is apple is the “inherit” clause in OOP. So, in spiritual-physical terms, you override the sex method, declare as attractive that which is immersed in God, which is of God, and inherit sex from human_male which in turn inherits human and adds specifics for male sexual attraction and activity. So, by overriding the sex property of human existence in order to accommodate for your spiritual choices, you essentially become attracted only to women who embody your spiritual choice, by choosing to be of God themselves, making the presence of God the necessary condition of sexual attraction for you.

Of course, things are messier here, and choices aren’t so clear-cut and precisely defined, because even those who have chosen God rarely have a very good idea about God – they know that it’s something awesome, spiritually powerful, of higher reality, and they can recognize it when they are in its presence, but telling whether something in the world is “of that”, and to what degree, is hard and messy, because people’s spiritual choices are rarely unequivocal, clear and conscious – rather, it’s like a compass needle that generally points at North, but also responds to all kinds of local anomalies, such as speakers and mobile phones. It’s also recursive – you expect to be able to recognize a woman whose spiritual choice is God by the fact that, if you yourself make God your spiritual choice, and become an embodiment of that choice in all ways, she will be powerfully sexually attracted to you, because you assume that she, too, extended her sex method the way you did – adding attraction to God above all, then inheriting human_female, which inherits human, which inherits primate, which inherits mammal, and so on. The messy part is that not all people do that – some, instead of extending sex to accommodate for their spiritual choices and tastes, attempt to eliminate it altogether, under the assumption that sex is inherently an animal and satanic thing and there’s no such thing as spiritual sex. They attempt to have no code whatsoever in the sex method, not inheriting anything from the “parent”, however since the parent.sex method includes some fundamentally important things, not running the code at all can have all sorts of unforeseen bad consequences.

The second messy part is that “God” exists on a scale, or a gradient. A choice for God should be translated as “a choice for what I was able to understand and perceive of God”, and there is always more where that came from. There are all kinds of spiritual beings – call them angels, archangels and what not – and they are all very different, because they see and understand God in different ways, and in different amount, and all kinds of factors influence how much and of what they were able to internalize and be of. You can “choose God” and be a being of white astral light because you understand that much of God, you are able to take that much, and your choice is nevertheless real and valid, but one needs to understand that there’s more, and by refusing to go where “more” is you basically are saying “no” to God, in a way, because there are beings who went for “more” and consist of blue vajra, and beings who went for “more” from that and are of black vajra, and beings that went even further, and are of that, which can wield black vajra.

The third messy part is that when you say that you made all the choices there are to make, and what remains is to “enlighten” others, you basically said “no” to God – basically, you closed yourself for the direction where there is “more”. That’s why I find it funny when people object that I change my mind about things and evolve my theoretical explanations, because am I not supposed to have had the final knowledge from the start, or at least from the point where I started teaching? Well, I was a living Buddha made of vajra when I started teaching, but there was more. Considering how most people are still struggling to absorb the lesson 1 that I gave at day 1, and how those fundamental principles and techniques that I gave from the start are quite sufficient, having been exactly what I was using to get where I am now, I would say that the difference between level million and level billion is irrelevant from a perspective of beings on level one hundred, struggling to get to level 101.

So, what happens after death for beings who made choices to be of God? I’ll try to explain it with a visual metaphor. Imagine a fabric, basically a grid of fibres. Now imagine several superimposed cloths, made of various kinds of fabric, of increasing subtlety. Let’s say a choice to be of God means interweaving the lowest layer of fabric with the one immediately above, and increasing spiritual progress means to interweave both layers with the one further above, and so on. This interweaving is the acceptance and recognition that “I am that”, basically the extension of self, of “I”, into progressively higher realities. The interweaving means that the pieces of cloth are bound into one. Now, let’s visualize death as the process that dissolves the lowest fabric – an acid bath, or fire, or something equally destructive, but only the lowest fabric is destroyed, and those higher ones remain unharmed, as well as their interweaving. This means that your “self” identity remains preserved in those higher “bodies” that you created by your choices, as you became “of that”. If your sense of identity is lacking without a physical body, this starts to weave into the physical plane, connecting the higher fabrics to the physical body, creating a new incarnation. If not, you likely start weaving upwards, trying to grasp the next-higher fabric and interconnect it with your identity.

So, if you are a NPC, a child of Satan that never evolved higher choices, when the body is dissolved, what happens to your sense of identity? Well, since it was borrowed from the global astral field, which borrowed it from Satan in the first place, it was never “yours” to begin with, because if you were “you” enough to claim yourself and strive for an actual existence and identity, you’d probably not be in that position to begin with. And yes, there are also those who weave their identity into lower fabrics of deeply demonic and evil things, but you can already guess where that choice leads, and I would rather not go there.

So, basically, where your heart is, there will also be your treasure – you can choose to gather with the Lord, or to waste with the world. That which is of God, which you gathered into your own spiritual makeup by choosing to be of that, and choosing always more, that is the fabric that is weaved out of the threads of eternity, and survives when the lowest physical fabric is washed away in death. What of you is made of the stuff of eternity, survives time.