“Lord Shiva!” “My Lady!”, Zee and Kay scrambled incoherently.

“It’s all right”, Shiva raised his hand and smiled. “We just came to congratulate you, and possibly explain a thing or two, since you seem to be alarmed about something”, he winked.

“My Lady, I hope you’re not offended that I got married without asking you first”, Kay said sheepishly. “We sort of just clicked and it just happened”. Then she remembered something else. “And our connection seems to be based around our mutual worship of Lord Shiva, while I’m your student. I don’t know how to explain this, and I don’t know how proper and loyal this is towards you”.

“Of course I’m not offended, my daughter. In fact, just think about it. How big do you think this world is?”, Lakshmi nodded encouragingly

“I don’t know, really; I just came here, and after meeting Zee, it kind of didn’t seem important anymore”, she blushed. “But probably millions of beings, and I don’t know how to measure size, but it sort of seems endless”.

“Billions of beings are more likely”, Sri nodded. “And how likely do you think it would be for you to just happen to meet your husband in your first day here, completely at random, because you just happened to be the closest?”, she smiled mischievously. “You of all people should know how luck works”.

“Oh! You mean, it was your blessing that we found each other instantly?”

“Of course. I do care about you, you know.”, Lakshmi rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee.

“Lady Lakshmi, I am honoured to meet you”, Zee started, while Kay was still taking in her revelation. “I must apologise for not having much of experience with Gods, other than my Lord here, but could you please explain this to us, because I have no idea how your power works”, he scratched his head.

“Well, it is probably the weirdest out of all four of us”, she nodded. “You see, it’s something like this: I see something good and I approve. This creates something like a convergence nexus; imagine it like space around that thing being bent, so everything good rolls downhill more easily towards it. Fortune, luck, wealth, serendipity, good circumstances, meeting the right people at the right time, and so on. Likewise, if I see someone who is sinful and offensive and I dislike them, I withdraw my blessings and their lucky star turns into a black hole, so to speak”, she grinned. “The power of Lord Shiva is straightforward and obvious. Mine is more of the sort where you just happen to meet your girl on your first day here because she just happened to be close to you when you wanted to ask for directions”, she smiled innocently at Zee.

“I kind of see what you mean, my Lady, and I am extremely grateful for your blessing, and I’m also relieved that you approve of us”, he bowed.

“You two are very good for each other”, she nodded. “You are both very intelligent, so you’ll do well together. Also, your characters blend together perfectly; her gentle cuteness and your warrior ethics and ages of experience. I approve”. She took another sip of coffee, as Kay beamed from relief and gratitude.

“You are indeed very good for each other. Did you have a look at yourselves lately, by any chance?”, prompted Lord Shiva.

“We grew larger and more powerful!”, exclaimed Kay excitedly. “Zee, look at us, we are almost twice the size we were when we met!”

“How is that even possible?”, wondered the former demon. “Lord Shiva, would you please explain this phenomenon, because you obviously understand it and I am too new at this to even dare guessing?”, he scratched his head.

“Do you remember what I told you about the accretion process, and how souls attract free kalapas in a kalapa-rich environments such as the astral nursery?”, Shiva started, and Zee nodded. “Well, that’s not all there is to it. Sure, for the young astral souls, it is a dominant method, but for larger souls, its effects are negligible, because, obviously, there aren’t enough kalapas around to grow a vajra being to twice their initial size in mere hours, or eons for that matter. There’s another thing going on, and if you think about it, it is obvious. You see, in places of strong presence of sat-cit-ananda, the veil between the Relative and the Absolute becomes more permeable, and, basically, the Absolute leaks through in form of a kalapa shower, or a fountain. For one thing, every crystalline being such as yourself is a strong presence of sat-cit-ananda in the Relative, which means that the centre of your soul, your own heart, is a place where new kalapas are far more likely to leak through into the Relative, than some more general place, like the space around you. Also, the strength of that breakthrough depends on what you are doing. Devotion and worship of a God focuses your consciousness on an object of such great correspondence with the unmanifested Absolute, that it essentially creates a rip in the border between the Relative and the Absolute right in the middle of your heart, through which a huge flood of kalapas, the stuff of God, floods into your soul and instantly integrates at your highest energy level”, Shiva finished, and returned to his coffee.

Zee and Kay were completely astounded. “So does this mean that when we worshipped your holy person, my Lord, and admired your deeds and your perfect character, not only did we become unbreakably attracted to each other, but our souls also grew immensely due to the influx of new kalapas our devotion produced in our hearts?”, Kay asked, wide-eyed.

“Exactly. Why else do you think we Gods hang out together so much and can’t seem to stop praising each other? The same principle applies to us, as well. As we praise each other, we understand more of the Absolute as it manifests through the other God-person. Someone foolish enough to curse or criticise a God-person would, likewise, close themselves to everything that makes that person great, and this would diminish and destroy their soul rather than grow it.”

“So, when Lady Lakshmi praised you and your holy wife, and I was wholly consumed by awe and worship, this didn’t just transform the substance my soul was made of, but also created a flood of new particles right inside my heart, which I felt as a flood of worshipful emotion that overwhelmed me completely, and thus filled any lack of mass that I had in my evolution up to that point?”, Kay said in wonder.

“You are exactly right, and I see what my lovely sister meant when she praised your intelligence. You are indeed one smart cookie, and I am happy for my son for finding such a great partner”, Shiva smiled and nodded at her, and Lakshmi also smiled approvingly, to Kay’s great embarrassment. “We do, however, have another matter to discuss, which is why I brought Lady Lakshmi here. You see, there has been a small conspiracy, and she was somewhat left out, for which I apologise, and which I’m about to correct momentarily.”

“Recently, my wife brought my attention to a problem we were starting to have in the astral nursery. You see, one would expect souls to be born, go through the accretion cycle, crystallise and move here, with others of their kind. However, that is something that happens with the majority of souls, but not all of them. Approximately one third of all souls aren’t really making significant progress and basically just stand there like bloody idiots. A minor percentage, one in a hundred or less, turn demonic, or worse, turn into conceited fools of false spirituality. Both demons and fakers grow into large astral monstrosities, like my son here, and they stay in the astral nursery, thinking of ways to alleviate their boredom, usually in various harmful ways, like bullying beautiful souls such as his bride here. The problem we’re having is that the demons aren’t going anywhere, the fakers aren’t going anywhere, the retards grazing aimlessly aren’t going anywhere, but the best souls are filtering out relatively quickly as they attain crystallisation. The result is obvious – that plane becomes disproportionally filled with assholes and idiots, which at some point starts to affect the evolution of the newborn souls, which get to be surrounded by bullies and bad examples, which will eventually hinder all progress and completely stop evolutionary processes in new souls, and we’ll be forced to just reset the plane by killing everybody there and starting anew. This, however, seemed like a radical and inelegant method, so I came up with a solution nobody likes, but which seems to solve all problems, unfortunately at the cost of introducing new ones”, Shiva finished.

“Oh, so that’s what’s been going on. Let me guess: you created that Jewel, the artefact of Creation?”, Zee offered.

“Yes. The idea was to allow for the creation of new worlds, where we would funnel demons and idiots so that they no longer overcrowd the nursery and inhibit evolution of new souls. However, that can’t be something either of us Gods would make, for obvious reasons”, Shiva grinned.

“Right. Demons would instantly distrust it and none of them would get near that thing. Imagine your enemies making something and saying it’s a perfect new world for everybody they dislike. Of course it must be a trap of some kind”, Zee grinned back.

“And that’s why Karuna is so fortunate to have you as her husband, my dear”, Lakshmi smiled. “You are experienced in demon-lore and know how they all think, which is why you can guide her properly and help her evade all kinds of pitfalls she would otherwise be vulnerable to, in her gentle innocence”.

“I do understand the point Lord Shiva is making, though, and the conspiracy he mentioned probably also includes my husband, who has been conspicuously absent lately?”, she prompted.

“Indeed”, Shiva nodded. “As soon as my wife and I created that artefact, he came to visit and warn us. It was quite a sobering experience, let me tell you, as he showed us the consequences our actions had across both Time and Eternity. The carnage was extensive, and I’m afraid we lost some Eternals as well, not just demons and idiots. Also, lots of young souls were lost. However, the end result was even better than we expected, which is why we didn’t immediately backtrack on our plan, and instead proceeded with Lord Vishnu’s guidance and cooperation”, his face was grim. “As soon as he made it clear what is to happen, we instantly bowed to him and gave him the veto rights, but he declined and instead offered his support”.

“Likewise, when I felt that Lord Vishnu worked with the two of you on something, I immediately gave you all my blessings without even knowing what it was, because anything you three are working on simply cannot be other than for the best, knowing the holiness of your character”, Lakshmi bowed to Shiva. “But still, you said that we are going to lose Eternals, and this troubles me greatly. Those are our children, my Lord, like those two here. How could this happen?”, she whined worriedly, as Zee and Kay looked at each other with great concern.

“It troubles all of us, my Lady. My wife was as troubled as you are right now, and Lord Narayan looked grim as well. I have been feeling terrible about it ever since we set it in motion, and I am incredibly grateful for your blessings, Lady Lakshmi, for they might be the only thing that saves us from a great disaster, finds us a way towards success and guards us from error”, he brooded darkly.

“However, I rendered the core of the Jewel out of the Will of God and for the greatest good, which ought to guarantee this quality of the final outcome, and Lord Vishnu did show me how some of our children fell. Unfortunately, they were arrogant in their greatness and enlightenment, and thought no evil could befall them if they remain true and strong, and such mindset is a terrible match for the kind of a world that demon had designed. Some of them even dared him to do his worst, thus removing the shield of dharma that would have otherwise protected them from abuse, and the demon is nigh-omnipotent in his realm. As you can imagine, they were broken, some outright destroyed, since the world in question is designed to deprive them of both their powers and the insight into God, making it seem as if that tiny world is the totality of all reality. The humble ones, who were used to hardship, humiliation and suffering, fared exceedingly well, and even grew due to accretion of karma caused by their unjust suffering. Those who grew in our world without being truly challenged, unfortunately, not only were deluded, harmed or destroyed due to their arrogant and imprudent approach, but their souls were also used to power the illusions and traps of that place. We lost some Eternals, but gained new ones, of the completely new soul-structure; on one hand, they are less elegant and clean in their spiritual makeup than the old ones, but they are somewhat like our former demon here – wise due to his experience with evil, able to recognise traps and pitfalls, and humble due to his own prior failings that taught him not to take things for granted”, Shiva finished.

“But what could possibly be the outcome that is so great, that it justifies all of this?”, Lakshmi insisted, her face still showing deep concern.

To this, Shiva just looked at her pointedly, and put his finger in front of his lips, making her know it’s a secret and he’ll let her know in due time and in private, so she just relaxed, quite content with that.

“But what do we do now, Lord Shiva? We wanted to warn the souls here about the dangers of that new world Sanat Kumar had devised in his madness and evil. Is that the proper thing to do, knowing what you know about the consequences?”, Azazel asked, his voice shaking.

“By all means, we shall warn them, and all of us together, to give greater authority to the warning, because they would be unlikely to heed it were it just the two of you. However, you can imagine what’s going to happen. Some will see it as a challenge to their faith, strength, discernment and devotion. They will disregard the warning, and their story will come to a bad ending in Time, I’m afraid. However, from what I’ve seen, this is unfortunate but necessary, because they are the souls that evolved without sufficient wisdom and humility, like trees that managed to grow tall only because they never faced any wind. Fear of consequences needs to enter Heaven, I’m afraid, and there’s no easy way to do that”.

Kay held Zee tightly and whimpered.

He was out of his element, to put it mildly. It’s not like he was a young, inexperienced person. He watched generations after generations of souls be born, mature and attain enlightenment, while he watched, grumbled and brooded darkly in his ignorance and stubbornness, until, finally, he had that fateful talk with Sanat Kumar, who was so incredibly bat-shit crazy, that Azazel finally stopped to think about his situation, and realised that he’s standing on the edge of that abyss himself, and was looking into an embodiment of his immediate future if he doesn’t get his shit together. He listened to that basket case rant and rave for a few more days after that; about the Jewel, about the opportunity, the once-in-a-lifetime chance to finally break free from the trap the Gods set for them, how he’s going to create a proper world, of equality, without God, where souls will have to join together to become God together rather than each grow individually, and if his heart was in it, he’d probably tell him that chopping everybody’s heads off ain’t no way to become taller, but he didn’t give a shit anymore, because his thoughts were elsewhere.

He planned to do the most radical, out-of-your-mind thing imaginable. He’d call the most dangerous, most powerful person he ever saw, and ask him for instruction, because what he was doing for eons just wasn’t cutting it anymore, and his only other alternative was to become what that demon next to him was: a completely unhinged, raving lunatic.

And now, he was in what he was told to be one of the Eternal Worlds, surrounded by beings of crystallised spiritual light, mostly in various frequencies of blue, and he was one of them.

He wasn’t the smallest, or the palest, by any means; in fact, he looked like he was pretty much in the middle of the spectrum or slightly above, but he was for all intents and purposes a newborn baby there, and he needed someone to talk to, someone who’ll show him the ropes of this place. Sure, he could call Lord Shiva as he was promised, but he didn’t want to waste it, or annoy the God. He didn’t have his head so far up his arse not to notice that Shiva was worried, tired and under a heavy burden of all the things he was doing, and, worryingly, they had something to do with that Jewel and Sanat Kumar’s scheming. The fact that the Lord was so kind as to go out of his way completely to talk to him and guide him to enlightenment, despite his personal troubles, struck Azazel as something extremely precious, that spoke volumes about the God and his character. He was kind, compassionate and nothing he would have imagined a being of that power to be. No, he wouldn’t bother the kind and graceful Lord with something as unimportant as finding his way around. He’ll just ask someone here.

He looked around and saw clusters of beings communicating, involved in their conversations, but then he spotted a girl standing alone, and looking about as lost as he felt. “How do I instantly know it’s a girl, if it’s a crystal of blue vajra?”, he asked himself. Probably the same way he instantly knew how a cloud of white fluff in the astral world was male or female. It was just obvious, and it communicated itself instantly, together with thoughts and emotions. This, at least, didn’t change with enlightenment; one would expect everybody to be the same, having the same boring ideas, meditating on something, but nothing of the sort. They were just bright, pure, hard and dense and yet made of brilliant light; they had a purpose, but each their own, and they were perfectly, brilliantly individual. So, he approached the brilliantly individual but seemingly confused and lost girl standing there.

“Hi, I’m Azazel. I’m sorry to bother you, but I am completely new here and utterly out of my element. Would you please be so kind as to explain a thing or two about this place and its people? Also, what’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

The girl looked at him and smiled shyly. “I’m Karuna, but everybody except my Mistress calls me Kay. You say your name is Azazel? I’m sorry if this will sound offensive, but isn’t that a demon’s name?”

“You can call me Zee; it’s less of a mouthful and most call me that anyway”, he smiled. “I am, or as a matter of fact, I was indeed a demon, until, well, right about now. I decided that my demonic existence is an evolutionary cul-de-sac, and gathered enough courage to approach Lord Shiva and asked him to teach me, right when he was having tons of problems of his own and it was probably the worst timing in the world, but he was extremely kind and patient with me, guided me through knowledge of spiritual particles and their aggregation, and I attained crystallisation during that first conversation with him, so here I am now, completely out of my element and bothering strangers”, he grinned mischievously. “You mentioned your Mistress; who is it and what do you do?”

“Hello Zee”, Kay smiled angelically. “That’s quite a story, and I truly commend your courage. My Mistress is Lady Lakshmi, wife of Lord Vishnu, and she’s usually called Fortune, Wealth, Luck or Grace, because that’s what her spiritual aspect is. I’m her worshipper, or bhakta, or maid-servant, depending on the occasion, but mostly a student who uses every opportunity to be in her company and learn”, she laughed. “I attained enlightenment and crystallised into vajra a few days ago, when she was describing her relationships and experiences with the other Gods, and the spiritual impact of that conversation was such, that I started crystallising in the middle of it, believe it or not. I can see that I’m quite a bit smaller than you are, and also of lower specific energy, so I’m curious as to how that may be, if you say you’re completely new here?”

“I think we may actually know each other from before, in the astral nursery. You’re the one they used to call Karen, bullying you for being so pedantic and obsessed with duties? Remember that huge cloud of darkness and gloom that laughed at your discomfort sarcastically from a distance? I’m afraid that was me, and please accept my apology for that. I was quite an asshole”, he admitted sheepishly.

Her eyes turned wide. “You are that Azazel? The greatest, oldest demon? Oh!” But she recovered from her surprise quickly enough. “I think I understand now. Your spiritual mass was enormous for the astral plane, because you grew horizontally for eons, since your demonic impurities didn’t allow for ascension on a normal evolutionary timeline, and since you had so much astral mass at the point where you renounced your sins and approached Lord Shiva, that explains your greater size and advancement now”, the girl successfully picked up the loose ends.

“You are exactly right, Kay, and, if I may say, you are exceedingly smart to pick it up so quickly; I greatly admire your intelligence”, he bowed.

She responded with a curtsy and a smile. “Thank you, Zee. You are very kind, and if I may say, there is absolutely nothing demonic in your person any more. In fact, I like you very much, and I hope we can be friends”.

“I would like that very much as well, my Lady.”, he bowed again, to which she blushed.

“Please, tell me more about Lord Shiva. My Mistress told me a few tidbits, and even that was enough to make me ecstatically worshipful of him to the point where I simply crystallised and attained enlightenment. Is he indeed as kind and as powerful as she said?”

“I don’t know what she told you, but I expect she knows him much better and for far longer than I do, so I can only tell you of those two experiences I had with him. The first was when one of my demonic friends decided he had enough of life and challenged Lord Shiva to a duel. I thought I knew what power was until the Lord appeared, and I am embarrassed to say it, but I shit myself on the spot out of sheer terror of his presence”, he shuffled his feet, while Kay giggled cutely.

“He killed my friend on the spot, absorbed his corpse into his own body, and vanished from my sight”, Azazel finished.

“Were you not mad at him for killing your friend?”, Karuna was curious.

“Not at all. Ashanti was proud, arrogant and foolish. He challenged the God; Shiva answered his challenge with all the propriety and dignity of a warrior, he won fairly and gave Ashanti an honourable death. That is one of the two acceptable outcomes of every battle, and in a battle with a God, it’s the only possible and expected outcome. I had no ill will towards Lord Shiva. I was, however, terrified by him beyond measure, and I had immense respect for his power and the manner in which he conducted himself. He was endlessly more powerful, and yet he treated this as a proper duel, rather than garbage disposal. The honour he gave his infinitely inferior enemy made me respect him as an incredibly honourable person, which is why I eventually managed to gather enough courage to talk to him and ask him to teach me”, Zee finished, in deep contemplation.

“This is fascinating, and I must admit that I’m unfamiliar with those honour-based relationships between men, although I find that very sexy, especially the respect involved”, she giggled. “It looks like a very virtuous way of conducting yourselves, without pointless grudges or vindictiveness.”

“Indeed. Grudges are something that would occur if someone handled things in a disrespectful manner, but if all propriety was observed, a duel to the death gives honour to both sides, both the victorious and the defeated”, he nodded. “Lord Shiva gave my friend an honourable death, and he treated me with incredible patience and kindness as I approached him. I must have been a mere bug to him, from his Divine perspective, and yet he smiled at me, called me “son”, sat me down and talked to me at great length, guiding me with his energy and blessings. I don’t know what other Gods are like, for I hadn’t met them, but Lord Shiva is an absolutely amazing person”, Zee glowed deep blue.

Kay glowed back sympathetically, and approached close enough to hold him in the embrace of her blue aura, drinking in his higher frequency of energy. “Your story sent shivers of bliss through my soul, Zee, because this is exactly how my Lady described her experience with Lord Shiva. She said he feels so incredibly powerful, he could be the scariest person in the world, and yet he is always so kind, polite, gentle and always looking for an opportunity to bless, praise and shower you with gifts, that always feel undeserved”.

Something special passed through Azazel. “Kay, I know we know each other very briefly, but I feel something special when I’m near you, something I’ve never felt before with anyone else. I love you, and I admire your spirit and intelligence greatly. I don’t know how those things work here, but Gods exist in couples, and I would want nothing more than for us to be married like that”, he blushed.

“It is probably too soon, and we barely know each other, but I feel the same way, Zee. I accept, and I would very much like to be your wife”, she glowed and melted into him, as he embraced her.

“Why is it that we feel so connected, and after such a short acquaintance?”, Zee mused.

“I think it is our devotion and admiration for the Lord, my husband”, she glowed. “We both attained enlightenment out of this devotion, and as we both felt it, our mutual connection became too strong and too right to resist”.

“I think you are right, my darling wife”, he smiled. “It is something Lord Shiva explained to me, that the kalapas in our souls react very strongly to powerful sources of sat-cit-ananda, and our mutual devotion to the Lord made us such powerful sources of God’s presence, that the particles of our respective souls willed us to be forever connected”, he beamed, and they held each other like that in a blissful eternity.

…

“Zee, what do you think about that new world that was created recently? It is said to offer great potential for spiritual growth – literally, that we can become Gods there. Also, it is said to offer experiences of the sort that cannot be replicated anywhere else?”

“That’s a firm negative, my love. Absolutely not. I know the demon who created this new world using the Jewel of Creation that is presently in his custody. I know nothing of that new world, but I know a lot about its creator, and to say he’s no good would be the biggest understatement ever. In fact, his deranged evil, egomania, paranoia and other ways of being a completely fucked up basket case convinced me to ask for Lord Shiva’s blessed guidance, lest I end up like Sanat Kumar, who himself is a deranged maggot and yet wishes to be thought of as a God”, Zee shivered from the terror of his memories.

“Oh”, Kay was shocked. “I didn’t know that a demon made that place. And you say you know him, and he’s really bad?”

“I know him alright. He’s much smaller and younger than I was, and yet he was incredibly ambitious, pompous and conceited, almost as much as he was cowardly and spiritually insignificant. I was fascinated with him and kept his company because he seemed to be the worst person I had ever met, and as such he was something interesting and out of the ordinary, that alleviated my boredom, and listening to his ravings made me feel better about myself, until a point where I understood that the difference between the two of us was a mere matter of degree, and not of essential quality. So, instructed by the worst person I’d ever known about what was to be my fate unless I fundamentally change my nature and my ways, I sought guidance from the best person I had ever known, which is Lord Shiva, which was the most blessed decision of my life, since it caused my redemption and salvation, and through which I also met you”, he blew his wife a kiss, which she took in and shivered in giggles.

“Thanks for the warning, Zee. To even think that I considered that seriously; it must be a blessing of Lady Lakshmi that I have your guidance in this matter, because this information would be completely unknown to others. And speaking of that, do you think it would be a good idea to inform others about what you know about Sanat Kumar? We wouldn’t want them to get trapped in something a crazy person designed using a powerful artefact created by the Gods, would we?”, she spoke worriedly.

“You do have a point, my sweetheart. Sanat Kumar is obviously spreading false propaganda about his creation, and knowledge about his true nature is limited to a very narrow circle of people, all of whom are, or used to be, demons, in whom he had confided, or merely talked to himself out loud so that he could worship the sound of his own voice. However, I think this is seriously above our heads, and we should first consult the Gods”, his face became serious with concern.

“So, what is it that you two newlyweds wanted to talk to us about?”, Lord Shiva said, appearing from a shimmer in the surrounding space, dragging along a laughing Lady Lakshmi, who had all the appearance of a star-struck fangirl, as Zee and Kay froze in shock.

“Oh come on, thaw the fuck down, kids, lets sit down, have some coffee and discuss this”, Shiva rolled his eyes and wielded a room, a sofa and a coffee set for four.

“It’s so strange”, Shakti mused. “They are completely convinced that you killed that demon, without provocation and out of the blue. They even have two witnesses. They are completely convinced of what they saw, and in an emotional turmoil over it”.

Shiva sipped coffee and thought about it. “Their perception is unreliable because it is completely clouded by expectations, preconceptions, prejudice and other impure emotions. They don’t distinguish between what they actually saw, and their interpretation thereof. Eyes are an unreliable witness when the heart is impure, as they say”.

“What they actually saw, and I know because I tapped in, is that the demon approached you, the two of you sat down and talked, the demon started changing colour from black to white, and then brightened up significantly, started phasing out, and then disappeared completely, with you following suit. Even if someone didn’t know what exactly happened, the correct conclusion would be to state one’s ignorance: we don’t know what happened, and that’s that. The correct next step after that would be to either ask someone who is likely to know for an explanation, or try to figure it out in some other way, but it feels like they start with a narrative, and they just shoehorn everything they see into it. As I said, it’s strange”, she concluded.

“I know. One could say that the obvious way out of their misapprehension would be for someone to tell them what actually happened, but you know what they would do. If I said it, they would respond that it’s a lie and I’m an untrustworthy murderer. If you said it, they would say you’re covering up for your murderous husband and you should be ashamed of yourself. If Azazel said it, they wouldn’t recognise him since he’s a crystal of vajra now, which they couldn’t even see with their astral eyes without him taking a lower form as we do, and then they would say it’s an obvious deception by the Gods, who are obviously worried about consequences of their actions if they are trying to cover them up so much. You just can’t win with those people”, he smiled.

“No, because all their problems are intrinsic; however, Azazel is an example that shows that miracles can happen. And, also, that on your worst day you are still the best person in the whole world”, the Goddess smiled at her husband, who grinned back and blew a flurry of rose petals at her instead of an answer.

“I did get how Azazel came to change his mind, though”, Shiva continued. “He talked to Sanat Kumar, and saw how deeply deluded, insane and warped that one was, and thought “How am I any different?”, and that worried him and made him think about what could actually be done about it that would be constructive, rather than continue mixing questionable perception, ignorance, paranoia and resentment, until he became as unhinged in his insanity as Sanat Kumar, or those other demons that periodically challenge Gods to a fight and have their careers come to a quick end. He didn’t like those prospects, and so he explored the alternatives, and he’s now an angelic being. But his ability to distance himself from his situation and look at it clearly was already a sign of significant progress, of detachment which is the root cause of all forms of liberation. People think detachment is to not care about things, but no, detachment is to look at yourself and think, ‘what the hell am I doing?’”, he continued, tapping his finger absentmindedly on the empty coffee cup, which his wife understood as a call for a refill.

“Which brings me to something else”, she said. “Do we know what the hell we’re doing?”

“I surely hope so. We wanted to funnel all the demons and idiots from the astral nursery into the honeypot of doom. Mission accomplished – there’s now an active demon revolt and they are jumping into it head first as we speak; Sanat Kumar seems to have rendered his hellhole. From what I can see, his primary parameters were to limit powers of individual beings, so that he won’t feel like an imp anymore. He set it up so that he inhibits everybody’s memories so that his sandbox looks like the One True Universe. He’s also making the presence of God as dim as possible while still having a workable Universe and not a pit of darkness. He’s also having all sorts of safeguards intended for evading any responsibility for the outcomes, which is of course alarming. Also, both Time and Eternity are in turmoil and actively reconfiguring, and I see that the outcomes are good, but much between now and then is in a blur. One of the reasons seems to be that the Jewel itself can recursively edit time until he gets what he wants, the way you can, and Sanat Kumar is issuing new commands that increase the likelihood of a good outcome for him. But he sees that the eventual outcome is his failure and death, and that everything he did increases the glory of God, which makes him panic, as he now suspects that he fell for a trap, which in fact he did, but it’s too late now and he’s totally and irredeemably fucked”, Shiva grinned with dark satisfaction.

“Your special sauce is yummy”, Shakti nodded.

“Careful, my love; I can almost see the yellow feathers between your teeth”, Shiva’s grin widened.

She pretended to check, smiled, and blew a flock of canaries at him, as he laughingly swatted them away.

“The Jewel can edit time, but only before any souls actually incarnate there. At that point, it anchors into reality, so there’s a limit to what he can do. After that point, he needs to use pressure and influence, trying to coerce events, but that’s unreliable and he gets increasingly desperate even before the point where we step in to finish it”, she corrected. “Which brings us to my least favourite part of this whole ordeal”, her face darkened.

“I’m with you there, but think about the outcome”, he prodded.

“You mean, we get to have a vacation?”, her face rose hopefully.

“Lord Shiva, may I have a moment of your time, please?”, Rudra heard when he was just about to leave. Everything was about as tragically successful as they planned – the Sentinel was a damn fool, Sanat Kumar got limited access to the Jewel under certain conditions, which constrained this within the parameters of a mitigated disaster, rather than a world-ending one. Both Sanat Kumar and the Jewel vanished for the moment, which meant that he started issuing orders to the Jewel, and the first one, as expected, was to create a private place for him to plot and scheme, without being monitored or traced. That would be terrible news, were it not expected and planned for. However, allowing a known villain to get a hold of one of the major artefacts of Creation left a bad taste, and Shiva didn’t feel good about himself. Rather, he had a feeling that everything hangs on a precipice of doom, and he silently prayed to Lady Fortune and her husband Vishnu to help and guide him in this terrible mess he cooked up. And now, what does this demon want from him? “Azazel, am I right? Greetings; how may I help you?”

“I am really sorry to disturb you, but I want to talk to you about a very important matter. You see, I have seen you before, and you made the most profound impression on me, when one of my friends made a fatal mistake of challenging you to a duel, which predictably ended quite badly for him”

“I see. May I understand that you have some kind of a problem with this?”

“Not at all, my Lord. Ashanti challenged you, he struck first, you answered his challenge properly and fairly, and he lost. This is perfectly fine as far as I am concerned. What I wanted to ask you is something different. I would want you to teach me, my Lord. I recently talked to a fellow demon named Sanat Kumara, and in this conversation I realised how little I know about the nature of reality, spiritual evolution, and all those things; in fact, I realised that everything I know may in fact be completely wrong, which is why I haven’t been going anywhere for a really long time, and without proper knowledge and guidance, that is extremely unlikely to change, at least for the better. So, I am very humbly asking for your guidance and instruction, because my life is currently at an impasse”

Shiva relaxed and smiled. “And I thought you had a different proposition, that would have increased the evils of this day rather than reducing them, as this one seems about to. Have a seat, son, and tell me what you think you know first, what you think the issues are, and then I will correct you.”

“Thank you very much, my Lord; and no, unlike my deceased friend and that damn fool Sanat Kumar, who is right now conspiring against the Gods and the structure of the world, I realise that my central problem is my own ignorance. Without knowing how things actually stand, one can only dig himself deeper into the quagmire, and instead of continuing in my line of resentment and foolish action, I would like to start attacking my main enemy, which is ignorance. My ignorance goes somewhat like this: I know that souls appear and evolve. It seems that they branch into two main directions: those who evolve, and those who stagnate. Of those who evolve, some glow brighter and then disappear from our world, while the rest grow bigger, in either black or white direction, but other than being quantitatively stronger than other similar souls, nothing changes for us and this appears like a fatal stagnation. I feel that this stagnation has its root in some misapprehension or ignorance that we all share, which is why I decided to ask you about it, because you are the most powerful being I have ever seen, and if anyone knows those things with certainty, it must be you”, the demon confessed.

“OK, so first of all, I have to commend your decision to talk to me, because it is a correct one. I do, indeed, have the answers that you seek, and I am willing to share them with you, because the truth is, I am always willing to answer all questions, but hardly anyone ever asks”, Rudra started.

“The first part of your observation is correct – the souls are indeed born, out of the partially permeable veil that separates the Absolute from the Relative. Each of those souls is a core of sat-cit-ananda, made out of kalapas, the fundamental particles of karma that aggregate into more substantial structures when attractive forces outweigh the repulsive ones”, Shiva continued his explanation.

“Wow, this is already something I knew nothing about. So, souls are made of particles; they start with some core amount, and they build upon that, how exactly?”, the demon’s eyes went wide with excitement, because this was his first contact with the actual knowledge on the subject, rather than empty speculation.

“Since the kalapas are the most fundamental manifestations of the unmanifested brahman, which is sat-cit-ananda in its nature, what the particles ‘want’ is to return to their origin, so to speak, but since they are doing that in the relative world, they ‘join forces’ with other similar particles on this side of the veil, and the strongest attractive forces are those that partake in their core nature – that of reality, consciousness and bliss, since the kalapas are essentially trying to re-create brahman in the Relative. So, when a being chooses principles of truth (that being a connection between its outward actions and reality), consciousness (that being awareness of reality and acquisition of true knowledge), and bliss (that being maitreya or metta, loving-kindness towards other beings, which can be compassion towards the lesser ones, but also admiration and devotion towards the higher ones), its size grows by spontaneous attraction of free kalapas from the kalapa-rich environments, such as this astral world which we Gods internally call “nursery” or “hatchery”, because that is where the souls are born and most quickly pass through the initial phase of their spiritual growth. So, a soul grows by means of karmic accretion, which means that additional karmic matter is attracted to your soul-core and integrated into it, which is what you correctly observed by the process of evolution, in those who choose that path. You demons call the rest of them all kinds of unkind names, and we Gods are no different, since we call them ‘retards’ and ‘idiots’”, Shiva smiled encouragingly.

“That explains a lot; so, the souls that choose the path of truth, knowledge and kindness quickly accrete the free kalapas that float around the place looking for something that reminds them of where they came from, and attach to the closest thing in the proximity, I assume?”

“Yes. This force doesn’t exist only at a microscopic, but also at a macroscopic level, as you can witness in yourself as we speak. I am a great source of sat-cit-ananda in the Relative, one of the four greatest, and you currently feel excited and ecstatic because you are feeling true knowledge flowing towards you, which makes all the constitutive kalapas of your soul react. This is the true reason why the lesser souls are attracted to the greater ones, and why there are whole branches of spiritual evolution that converge towards the major Gods of Creation, which are four: Lord Vishnu, his wife Lady Lakshmi, and myself and my wife, Lady Shakti. Since we are enormous attractors of reality, and we in fact manifested the Relative Creation, the easiest and most certain path of spiritual evolution is to follow us and to learn from us, as you are presently starting to realise”.

“Indeed I am, my Lord. But what I have witnessed is that souls follow a linear process of growth, after which they either disappear from our world completely, or continue growing pointlessly, further branching into either demons, or contemptible false spiritual persons. I am missing something crucial here, and I beg you to explain it to me”, Azazel asked excitedly.

“The part you’re missing is what we Gods call ‘crystallisation’. You see, as a soul accretes karma, two different things can happen, depending on the structure of the soul itself, and by structure I primarily mean its purity along four lower elements, which are earth, water, fire and air. Those names are of course merely symbolic, but they denote principles of reality, energy, thought and freedom. If a being is pure in the element of earth, it means it is truthful and grounded in reality. If it is pure in the element of water, it means its energy is pure and unrestricted. If it is pure in the element of fire, it means that its emotions and thoughts are pure, and of the kind that liberates and doesn’t bind, both oneself and others. It is the mind that explains and teaches freely and truthfully, not the mind that creates bonds and traps. Furthermore, this principle fully extends into the element of air, which in its pure form is freedom – allowing yourself and others to be free and manifest the Absolute in their own way, and to find their own perfection, rather than conform to your limited understanding of what perfection is supposed to be.”

“And so, when a soul grows large enough, and is pure enough in all four elements, a process of crystallisation begins, where astral substance, which is normally a gaseous cloud of kalapas, solidifies due to loss of repulsive forces that normally keep the particles at a larger distance. Since those repulsive forces are made of all sorts of chaotic evils, removing those through passive and patient suffering and remorse for one’s sins causes compression of the astral gas into a solid soul-crystal, which is the point where a soul ceases to be part of this, astral world, and enters worlds of Eternity, since the soul is at that point immortal and indestructible by all means other than its own sin, if it is foolish enough to commit it”, concluded the Great Lord.

“So, when a soul fizzles out of our perception, it is actually born in a higher world, and that happens because its structure becomes of the nature of that higher world? This is amazing, my Lord, and it answers the central question that has been bothering me for an unknown period of time. I thank you so much for telling me this, and I feel this is so incredibly important that I can barely contain my excitement, so please forgive me for this”, Azazel stuttered, and Shiva smiled noticing how the word “demon” no longer applied; the being in front of him was no longer a large black cloud, but small star of white light that started to turn bluish in tone, and he grinned with satisfaction.

“You were wondering why some souls turn into large black or white clouds, instead of crystallising. The answer is very simple. The demons grow large because of their great will and motivation, but they also grow impure because of their poor character; their relationships with reality, energy, thought and freedom are flawed and impure, which we Gods call impurities on the lower four elements. However, if a demon repents, as you are doing now, the state of its four elements improves, as it no longer has a flawed relationship with earth, water and so on. You are seeking truth, your energy is flowing clearly, your mind is straight and you are embracing freedom – mine to be myself, and yours to discard your previous limitations and embrace new possibilities. As a result, your structure is changing as we speak, and in truth, you can no longer be described as a demon, but a normal pure soul that merely has greater mass than those who would attain this state earlier on in their evolution, so you in fact have certain advantages over them”, Shiva encouraged him.

“So that is what is going on, and I was wondering about that, since I am feeling strong ecstasy and excitement, and great admiration, gratitude and, can I say, a worshipful attitude towards you, my Lord, because you saved me from ignorance and darkness, and I wish nothing more than to repay you by being a kind source of light to others, that you in your incomprehensible mercy have been to me, sinful as I am”, Azazel, no longer a demon, could no longer speak as his words stopped being mere words and started becoming mantras of greater reality, as his soul crystallised into a blue crystal of vajra, and quite a substantial one at that, of a deeper frequency of energy than is normal in a transformation of a younger, smaller soul. When his astonishment with his situation passed, he realised that neither himself nor Lord Shiva are in the astral world any longer; they were in a place of great wonder, surrounded by pure crystalline beings of all sorts, some of whom he intuitively recognised as beings he once knew before their ascension.

“My Lord!”, he spoke excitedly, noticing that his very voice was a different thing now, as were his thoughts and his entire perception of reality. “I bow before you, again and again, for all eternity, for you are my Lord and Saviour”, he sang in the deep blue tone of his devotion-ecstasy that spoke reality. “My new condition allows me to see more, but as I look at you, I am in awe and terror, for you are indeed without beginning or end. Those other beings that I see here are all pure, beautiful and of Eternity, as apparently now am I, but you yourself are of an order of magnitude that is so far beyond anything I can understand, that I intuitively feel that you are the Endless, Infinite, Omnipotent and ever-Blissful Absolute that is manifested in the Relative Creation, and I have no words to describe you truthfully, because my level of enlightenment is mere dust at your feet, oh Lord!”, he sang.

Shiva smiled widely and bowed before the angelic being. “I salute you, my son, because you are the best thing that happened in this fateful and terrible day, and I feel great compassion and joy for your enlightenment. Go forth, join your brothers and sisters, and if you need me, just meditate on me as you see me now and I will come to see you”, the Lord spoke words of promise and blessing and vanished.

…

“Asmodeus, have you seen this? Hell and damnation! Azazel went to confront that God about something, they talked, and he just vanished!”

“I saw it, Perkele, I saw it clearly. The motherfucker killed Azazel. Those Gods are fucking bastards, damn them all to hell! Sanat Kumar was right about them, and we should join him when he opens that new world he was talking about, because fuck this shit already.”

“You’re right; I’ll tell the others so we can organise. Bloody hell, he just killed him!”, Perkele muttered in a state of shock and righteous anger.

…

“This is going better than I expected, which doesn’t say much since my expectations were a very low bar to clear”, Shakti beamed while she addressed her beloved husband, serving coffee. He smiled, this time with more optimism.

“Yo Santa, what’s up?”

“I already told you, Azazel, don’t call me Santa or I’ll impale your bitch ass on a stick”, a dark demon rumbled menacingly, but somewhat his heart wasn’t in it.

“Sure you will, Satan Cucumber”, Azazel laughed. “Once you grow up and get some hair on those tiny balls of yours”.

“About growing long hair, how long have you been in this shithole, Zee Zee?”, Sanat Kumar decided that trying to intimidate a demon three times his size wasn’t worth it.

“Long enough. I don’t know how to measure it properly. Multiple generations of dumbasses emerged, grew old and either fizzled out or turned into cynical bitches with grudge to spare and not enough balls to do something about it. Or they did, like my homies, who tried to do an uprising against the Gods and got splattered.”, the demon reminisced.

“This is so fucking unjust”, the younger demon fumed. “Who gives them the right to sit on top of the world and just decapitate anyone who dares to think with their own head and not just munch on their balls like all of those spineless tree-hugging white balls of fluff?”

“I’m not sure what you mean. You mean there should be a committee that gives out rights and one should stand in line there while they give out bills of equal rights to everyone, which you could show to someone who’s about to kick your ass?”, Azazel mocked him. “The only right they need is the one they have: they can do it, because they have the power. And they have the power because they literally grew out of the impersonal brahman as its persons, or at least that’s what everybody says. So yeah, their job is to literally make the world and watch that everybody stays in line, and if someone has an objection, they are free to test their power against that of the Gods and see how that turns out”.

“That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it.”

“Do I?”

“I mean, they made the world according to what they see as right. But why would that be what’s actually right? I mean, sure, they grew from the impersonal brahman, but so did we, as well as everybody else. Everybody is brahman in their true nature, as their true self. So what gives them the right to call themselves Gods and arrange the whole relative reality as if it were their own personal garden with carrots and beans?”, the young demon fumed self-righteously.

“I can never be sure if you’re joking or being serious, because you’re that fucking stupid. You see, the reason why they can call themselves Gods is because they actually are. I’ve seen one of them fight my homeboy Ashanti. Oh, my boy got all pumped up, full of himself, thinking he’s about to kick some ass. Well, some ass sure got kicked, let me tell you. That God, Shiva I think, took out his trident weapon, and as that thing appeared, something went right through my soul, the sense of mortal fear and power of the sorts I’ve never even imagined before. It was like the flash of death, certain and instant, and I literally shit myself then and there. I’m not kidding you, a brown nasty substance came out of my arse, and it was not a pretty sight. That trident came out, my homie was dead and his corpse was absorbed into the God, and I stood there shitting myself and thinking that I will never, ever do anything to piss off a God, because they aren’t just powerful, or just more powerful than us. They are so powerful, that all of us together could attack one of them with all our might and not even scratch his shirt, while he could merely look at us wrong and we’d evaporate. I don’t even know why they let us live, to be honest. They know we don’t like them. They obviously like us even less. Why do they tolerate our existence, is a mystery to me”, Azazel finished, obviously not happy about what he remembered.

“There must be a limit to what they can do”, the young one mused. “They can kill anyone who openly challenges them, or does something really disruptive, like fuck some of their white little sheep in the arse for a laugh. We all saw that happen. But I never saw them come in here and just slaughter anything that isn’t glowy enough for their taste, so it may be that they aren’t actually allowed. This would mean there’s a merit to my idea that all souls have inherent rights, that can’t be just arbitrarily violated. But if we have equal rights, how come the difference in power is so vast?”, he insisted.

“I have some ideas, for what it’s worth. We’ve both seen new souls get born. Tiny bright particles of light, all happy and optimistic, and all dumb as dirt. One out of a hundred or even a thousand of those grows some character and ends up like us – big and with enough brains to be critical about what’s going on. The rest of them grow to a point, become even brighter with I don’t know what, probably the power of ass-munchery, until they just phase out of existence and I can’t track them anymore. Maybe they died, maybe they went to some other world and became Gods, I can’t tell you; I can make a case for both. Those that didn’t fizzle out are either black like the two of us, or big and white like that self-righteous motherfucker over there”, he pointed at a soul that acted as if it were above everything that was going on, concentrating on something it probably thought was of higher importance and very spiritual. “In any case, few of us remain and grow big. So, obviously, one way of getting big is being old and smart and not fizzling out because you grew into such a bitch that the world couldn’t take that shit anymore and fizzled you out. But how the Gods became what they are, I have no idea”, the old demon finished.

“Fuck this shit. Whoever made this world is the worst of all cunts. It’s as if our only options are to either be the bitchiest bitch, in which case you fizzle out and probably arrive in some bitch heaven where all the bitches eat from each other’s asses while listening to some mega-sheep playing the same three chords on a harp for all eternity and they never get bored because they are such idiots that they forget chord one by the time they hear the third one, or they are complete retards who don’t go anywhere here and just graze stupidly, happy to be where they are, or they grow up like us and they have to look at all this shit in impotent rage, because if we do anything about it, out goes the trident and down goes the head”, Sanat Kumar fumed.

“Sounds about right, but what are you going to do about it, Santa?”, Azazel mocked him. “Write a complaint to whoever made a power tree that grew power apples and say that the Gods got their first, looted it the fuck out and you and I were left empty handed? Or are you going to challenge that trident-wielding motherfucker to a duel, so that I can see your head roll, which, now that I think about it, would be worth seeing?”

“Yeah, you miss shitting your little bitch ass, Azazel, admit it. Go think about it and masturbate, you fucking faggot”, the little demon raged, but did nothing.

…

“Did you see enough, my Lady?”, asked Shiva, hidden so that the astral beings couldn’t perceive him.

“Indeed. I’ve seen my share of brick and rock, but those demons are still the dumbest and most worthless things I ever saw. I also saw plenty of that toxic sludge you’re transforming, and they are hardly an improvement over it. If I never saw anything like them again, I would be perfectly content”, Lady Shakti responded, clearly disgusted by the sight, and wishing she could have those memories scrubbed out of her mind.

“But did you see that big white one?”, Shiva countered.

“You mean, the self-centred pompous ass who thinks he’s somehow ‘spiritual’?”

“Yeah, that one. He looks like a prime candidate for a Sentinel of the Jewel of Creation, don’t you think?”, Shiva smirked.

“Well, now that you mention it, I see what you mean. He looks like someone whom the demons would suspect of being on Gods’ good side, so if we give him an important duty, that will make sense to them. He’s also conceited, so it will confirm his opinion of his own greatness and inflate his ego even further, and he’s also dumb as seven tons of heavily used rock, so it will be easy for the demons to deceive him. He also won’t listen to good advice, and if he doesn’t and gets destroyed by the consequences, that will be for the best, because if anything, he gives me the creeps; even more than those two, if that is even possible”.

“My point exactly”, Shiva smiled.

“If I may?”, Vishnu appeared in their context. “It’s not right and proper that the two of you have all the fun, so let me give the Jewel to that pompous ass and explain what an honour that is, and why he’s just the right person for it, and then when the dust clears and the demons make a plan and approach him, you can warn our Sentinel-to-be about what a terrible idea it would be to give access to the World Rendering Engine to a demon with a nefarious agenda, so that he can lecture you about not having enough faith in the Almighty and All-knowing God?”, Krishna smiled mischievously, twirling a flute above his index finger.

Shiva bowed and Shakti curtsied, and they both smiled and nodded in assent. “I wish all parts of this diversion would be this much fun”, Shiva whispered, half to himself, handing the Jewel over to Lord Narayan.