I am aware of the fact that I upset some people by very clearly suggesting that most things practiced under the collective umbrella term of spirituality are, in no unclear terms, delusion and fakery, while others are genuine but modest achievements.

Yes; when I was a beginner myself, I thought every person with a spiritual-sounding title and an orange robe is enlightened, everybody talking about spiritual experiences is genuine, every “spiritual book” is genuinely inspired or at least useful, and so on. That was before 1997, when I started experiencing things that were completely unexpected and for which I had no theoretical framework in anything I’ve read or experienced before.

Before, it seemed logical that all the enlightened people are basically saying the same things, in essentially the same terms, and that their experiences confirm what they were taught. It seemed logical – if it’s true, of course it’s confirmed by experience. Since my own experiences confirmed the same things, I considered myself one of them – one of people who experienced the truth.

But as my experiences started to diverge wildly from anything others talked about, I became cautious. It took me a long time to actually change the theoretical framework, because I wanted to be sure it’s true, and that takes time, especially when you’re not copying anyone’s homework.

Now, I am very skeptical of people whose spiritual experiences confirm what they were taught, word by word; the entire dogma. That’s just not how things work when you’re based in reality, like I was. It took me decades to even interpret some experiences properly, that’s how radically they departed from everything I thought I knew.

That answers the next question people have: how come I’m the only one talking about certain things, such as Sanat Kumar, or this world being a weaponised VR, God manifesting as multiple persons, manifestation as a person of God being the goal of personal evolution, and so on? The answer is as simple as it is uncomfortable. No, in fact I’m not the only one talking about those things. There were others before me who figured it out. It’s just that there were so few of us throughout history. All the “spiritual authorities” you know of? Yeah, they are saying the same things I was saying for the first few years into my sadhana. That’s because they are where I was for the first few years of practice. However, I moved on; they haven’t. They didn’t transcend the first phases of understanding, and are basically regurgitating what they were taught and copy-pasting traditional teachings. They had some spiritual experiences. That’s all fine. But there’s more; much more.

The true meaning of the question isn’t that what I’m saying is surprising; it’s that people underestimate who I am by multiple orders of magnitude, and then their questions make sense. If you know who I am, the reason why I’m the only one who managed to understand certain things here becomes blatantly obvious.

I got some things because I remembered them, and that was possible because I was there. Why others didn’t? Obviously, they weren’t there. They couldn’t remember the cat in their lap playing with the pendant around their neck, or that special tone of consciousness of their friends; they weren’t there. Those people aren’t their friends. They were probably born eons later. I can remember how Sanat Kumar got the Jewel, because I was there, and it’s my fault, in a way. There are, let’s see, five people that I know of who have those events in personal experience, one of them being Sanat Kumar and he’s dead, the other being the Sentinel, who is also dead. Six, if I count the Jewel, and I should. That’s why I know those things, and all kinds of “spiritual people” don’t. I was there. I participated in cooking up this mess, and I am here to clean it up. I’m not some phase in spiritual evolution, the way people imagine those things. I’m not some guy who practiced yoga a lot. It just took a lot of effort to remember some of these things here, in this mud, and to repeat initiations from below, in the body.

Why was Buddha the first one to ever figure out Sanat Kumar down here? Because he seems to have been the first one to actually do anything Sanat Kumar minded enough to try to interfere. Why all kinds of “great teachers” completely failed to figure him out? Because they never did anything he had a problem with, probably. It’s interesting how Jesus had all kinds of issues with him, and “great saints” like Ramakrishna and his disciples had none. It kind of tells you something. Why did Satan interfere with me so much? It kind of tells you something, doesn’t it? If a dog is growling at the woods, you tend to wonder what is it that he’s seeing there that you aren’t.

One of the biggest surprises to the souls departing from this world is how similar humans all look down here, and how vast the differences turn out to be when you strip them of flesh.

Just think about it: the three convicts hanging from crosses on the Golgotha. One is in mortal sin and is on the way to perdition. One is a repentant sinner and is on the way to heaven. One is a person of God, changing the nature and destiny of the world and about to return to his Father.

To the crows, they are all the same: food. To the Romans, they are all the same: convicts to be terminated before the Passover. To the Jews, the opinions are split, and are mostly a matter of faith. To Mary Magdalene, one is the Lord, and the others are not important. To Sanhedrin, one was a threat to the existence of their nation, and the others are not important.

Strip away the flesh and look with the eyes of a Judge, and one is nothing, the other is normal, and the third one is a cosmic entity, manifested from the primordial chaos of creation. The difference can’t be bigger even if you artificially tried to set it up to be shocking.

Soon, the masks of flesh will fall, and the human masquerade will end, revealing the concealed truth.

I understand some people might find this disturbing, but all that New Age and religious “spirituality” is based on certain assumptions nobody actually bothers to verify, and the reaction of the “guys up there” seems to be bewilderment, in the sense of “who even told you that?”

We have a local saying here in the Balkans – “to make the bill without the tavern owner”. It loses in translation, but you will get the general idea. Basically, people made all kinds of assumptions about spirituality, spiritual evolution, enlightenment, liberation and so on, and nobody actually bothered to check with God whether any of it is actually true. It’s all basically guesswork and emotions – it would be great if x and terrible if not x, and since we live in the best possible world, the most pleasant thing we can think of must be true; or, if not, the truth must be even better.

That’s not how reality works. Ask the Dinosaurs whether they lived in the best possible world for Dinosaurs. Oh wait, you can’t because they went extinct.

Basically, the assumption that something must be possible because it would be terrible if it weren’t possible is completely unwarranted, because why the fuck would the world be designed to avoid terrible things? Does it even look as if it’s designed to avoid terrible things? Mosquitos do terrible things. Parasitic insects do terrible things. Disease does terrible things. Old age does terrible things. All of that is a natural part of the world. It’s easy to invent bullshit about how wonderful the world is or should be, from your sofa in some sheltered part of the world, but that’s not the real world; it’s your cocoon. So yes, it would be terrible if the world were a trap, and on its default settings it was designed so that nobody can get out and be saved, or even perceive anything transcendental. Every exit, every hint of transcendence, every ray of the light of God had to be bought with the blood and tears of God.

It’s terrible, but it has the redeeming virtue of being true. All kinds of sugar-coated theories sound better, but unless you have actually tested them, just be quiet, please. For all you know, everybody who ever practiced them failed terribly.

Also, about having options. You may think you have them. That, however, might not necessarily work the way you think. You may think you don’t have to listen to me, because you have Jesus, Buddha or Krishna. That may or may not be so. It may be so if you actually had darshan of said persons of God and they told you to ignore me because they will guide you directly. That’s quite possible, and darshan always has priority over other, less direct means. However, if you merely read some book, talked to some people, are a member of some religious organization, it most likely amounts to nothing. I would agree that if you have direct experience of Lord Jesus or Lord Vishnu, absolutely go with that because that’s an authentic alternative to listening to me. Even in heaven, were I restored to my actual condition and full power, that would be a valid, authentic alternative. Choice of a person through which you worship God is yours to make, and it’s one of the few actual choices you get to make, because in most other cases the choices make you, rather than the other way around. You would be fully justified to come into the place where five persons of God sit and have coffee, politely greet them all and then focus on your ishta devata and ignore the rest. That’s not seen as rejection of God, it’s seen as how things normally work. But that’s not how things normally work on Earth. Here, ideas about persons of God are usually just ideas, something equivalent to ideas about characters in some other book you’ve read. To every single person that didn’t actually have direct spiritual experience with Jesus, Jesus is a character in a book, like Gandalf or Harry Potter. You can think this or that, but until your ideas have been confirmed by God in person, it’s just making a bill without the tavern owner, as we say here. You think, you feel, you believe, but until God gives you His approval, it might all be a nothing-burger, or “onions and water”, as we say here, meaning a very thin soup. So, that’s something you should be aware of when you think you have alternatives. Your alternatives might actually be far less substantial and meaningful than you think, and equivalent to what the Jews who rejected Jesus because they “had Moses” thought they had. It was all nothing, but they lived under a misapprehension. When the Sun appears, saying “no thanks, I’ve got the Moon and the stars” isn’t a choice for light, it’s a choice against it.

I am always half amazed, half shocked when I see people doing certain things as if there won’t be any consequences; none of it’s real anyway, it’s all psychology and games. Let’s invoke demons, let’s talk to spirits, let’s do Wiccan magic with menstrual blood, let’s sell our souls to Satan, let’s convert to Islam. This belief that only physical matter is real and everything else is mere psychology, and, as such, inconsequential, is giving me the chils.

It’s all real. It all has consequences. There’s always a price to pay. All those spiritual contracts are real. Even if God wanted to save you from the consequences of your idiocy, the price would still have to be paid. It’s just that God would have to pay it in order to spare your sorry arse.

You don’t live in the world you think you live in. Its “materiality” is an illusion. It’s a persistent, very convincing illusion with terrible consequences, but an illusion regardless. Many things you may think to be illusory, such as souls, are in fact real; much more real than physical matter. All kinds of things that are being masked by the physical world, are incredibly important.

Also, you think you have all kinds of choices. Well, yes, you do, but if almost all of them are fatal, are they really the choices you want to keep in your pool of viable options? Thought so.

So, if we remove everything fatal from the pool of your options, and intersect this with your karmic tree, so that we see what of this is valid for you personally in this point of your life, it often turns out that your options are extremely limited, and the fact that this limitation is hidden from you by the illusion of abundance of choice doesn’t make it a pretty sight. It’s like being a young girl who thinks she has all the choice in the world because everybody wants to fuck her. It’s not about who wants to fuck you; it’s about finding the one you want to marry, and having him want to marry you. If you put it that way, suddenly all the “choices” turn out to be a barren desert. You can count all your actual options throughout your life on fingers of one hand, with enough leftover fingers to order multiple drinks.

If you sell your soul to every demon you encounter, will any options remain for you down the road if you decide to choose God? Will God have to buy out your contracts signed in blood, in all sorts of unholy places, and hide this fact from you, so that you don’t know what horrible price He had to pay for you? Or will you simply be lost on that road, and I will get more trash to clean?