Expectations

I want to return to the “Salvos” series because I don’t think I’m done with it here.

One of the reason why it’s so good is that the characters break their own mould; they belie expectations. For instance, you would expect that Salvos, as a Demon of Pride, would act in ways a typical prideful person will act, but she’s actually humble. When Willy berates her and she knows he’s right, she will just bow her head, take it and apologise. When Lux Golmi berates her for breaking into its home to kill it for body parts she needs for a potion, and accuses her of being wild, she actually stops, thinks about it and feels shame, because she can understand the “monster’s” perspective and it isn’t flattering. She then offers a compromise and there ends up being no violence. You would expect a proud powerful person to laugh at such criticism, act arrogantly and just take what they want, but Salvos never does. When Haec berates her for hiding corruption from him and doing things behind his back, she again bows her head and apologises. So, her pride is not what people usually mean by it; arrogance, rejection of all criticism, being convinced of your own superiority despite evidence. For Salvos, pride means being great and doing great things and then soaking up deserved praise. Pride is being loved and trusted by worthy people because you are worthy. Pride is not allowing threats to harm what is yours. But when she fucks up and someone gives her a piece of their mind about it, you would expect her to act like those people we all know, who would just arrogantly tell you to fuck off and it’s not your place to say anything. Not Salvos. Salvos believes in reality over everything else. If you believe something about yourself, you have to prove it. If you fucked up and somebody proves it to you, you need to accept your mistakes and do better. Defending your flaws isn’t her kind of pride. Her kind of pride is not having flaws in the first place, and then being admired for it. So, since that’s what she loves, she works on not having those flaws. She doesn’t like being looked down upon for being weak, so she works on being strong. Essentially, she has a constructive approach to things; see what you like, and become the kind of person who deserves it.

Also, one would expect that her pride would demand her to always want a leadership position, but that’s not the case. She’s perfectly satisfied to be the most powerful person in a group, and have someone else lead; whether it’s Helena or Clayton or Haec, it doesn’t matter. She’s more interested in getting things done. On a superficial level, she likes the concept of a cheering crowd or having minions who worship her, but she would get bored of it very quickly, and she usually prefers a much different environment – a company of equals who each have a say, who have opinions, fears and desires she acknowledges and accommodates. She doesn’t want power in order to be a tyrant like Regnorex; in that sense, she’s very much like Samuel, who made a kingdom of equals, people who were joking and messing around with each other and who all had great power, but nobody saw the power of others as a threat that needs to be controlled, the way Regnorex doesn’t allow his minions to evolve to Primordial because he fears being deposed. Samuel’s kingdom was full of Primordials, and they absolutely loved him. They worshipped the ground he walked on. He gave them safety, purpose, peace and hope where there used to be chaos, despair and death. When Trico betrayed them and everything collapsed, including Samuel’s heart, they hoped for 50000 years that he would return to his kingdom and lead them all again. Samuel didn’t need fear to rule, and neither does Salvos.

Even people who barely know her, like Bertrugil, trust her and feel safe with her because they see how she deals with things. They feel safe enough to whine and complain to her. Nobody feels safe with Regnorex that way. People walk on tiptoes around him and constantly bow in submission to appease his ego. Nobody does that around Salvos; instead, Aemula feels safe enough to complain that Salvos doesn’t believe her when she says she can see solid ground, and Salvos is careful not to hurt her feelings. Mind you, Aemula is a lvl. 108 Archdemon. Salvos is at that point a lvl. 165 Lesser God. They are all in Salvos’ pocket space, travelling between the folds of Nexeus, and everybody feels perfectly safe. Aemula whines about not being taken seriously and then rubs it in Salvos’ face when she turns out to be right, Bertrugil sleeps, Taburas broods, Haec is having his evolution in peace. They are all within a construct of space magic created by a Lesser God and they are not walking on tiptoes around her. For a supposed Demon of Pride, Salvos has almost none of what people would call “ego”. Sure, there’s pride in her own achievements, there’s a desire to be great and to be seen as great, to be admired by worthy people who see her greatness and acknowledge it, the pride of truth being said about it and this truth being high praise. Most of it, however, is constructive. She did have some detours into the pathological, such as when she was tutoring other kids and it went into her head, but for the most part, it’s pride of the kind where she doesn’t allow people she loves to be harmed, where she doesn’t allow there to be a power higher than herself that could take all she loves away from her. That’s why the character and the writing are interesting; you don’t expect the Demon of Pride to act mostly as a Goddess of Love.

That, among other things, is why the humans in the Mortal Realm are currently losing their shit over her. They have an expectation of what Demons should be like – Lucerna who rampaged across Nixa, destroying towns and killing people. Belzu who did the same but more effectively, killing millions and razing entire countries. Servants of Regnorex who invaded Inor and Elutra, destroying everything and sacrificing the population to bring in more Demons and eventually the Demon King himself. The fact that the carefree girl who kept destroying all harmful creatures, who was known for killing the Centinels, the undead, the Demons and the cultists who created mischief, who did so many protective and good things that the System gave the Title of “Secily’s Sentinel”, making her essentially the official protector of their world, who fought so hard to defeat the Demon invasion that she brought them all together and didn’t rest until they all focused their efforts to defeat the threat, and was one of their greatest generals and arguably the person most responsible for the victory, the fact that she turned out to be a Demon herself, and not just any demon, but a Primeval Demon who was also a Lesser God who radiated Divinity like the Watcher, Mori Gladius and the Immortal King Alexander – they didn’t know what to do with that. Some tried to argue that it all had to be some deception, but it made absolutely no sense. The alternative was that a Demon can be good, and not just good, but the best person in the world, and that broke their minds even worse because it contradicted everything they knew about Demons. Demons aren’t supposed to have angelic wings, radiate Divinity and make the world safe from threats and evil. The Demons aren’t supposed to have the “aura” Salvos has – something that makes you mildly euphoric, something that makes you want to rise up, earn greatness, leave fears and limitations behind you. Demons aren’t supposed to inspire, elevate, and bring knowledge and peace. Clayton knew she wasn’t human, but his first guess was that she’s a Spirit, because that’s what she feels like. There’s an aura of levity, kindness, protectiveness and inspiration around her, and his suspicion was that she’s either a rogue Spirit, or the Spirit Lord is up to something. Even when he met the Devil in his human form, he felt nothing like what he would expect a Demon to feel like. I honestly can’t imagine what he would have thought; there’s a being that’s extremely powerful, throws one of his professors out the window to prove a point, and then calmly allows Clayton to lead them out of his school without offering resistance, and all the while Clayton is probing him with Identification and who knows what Skills and learns only that he’s the equivalent of a human Elite, but nothing more. The combination of power, mischief and benevolence makes him suspect Spirits, because that’s what people would logically think. Their experience with Demons consists of either Regnorex and his minions, or rogue but evil Demons like Belzu, whose idea of levelling is to raze towns and kill people. When they encounter a Demon whose idea of levelling is to find some wasteland full of wild creatures nobody will miss and kill them, and then go to school to learn magic, their experience offers no guidance that would explain this. And yet, she’s not as unique as they would think; it’s just that Regnorex has been shaping Demons into what they are now for the last 10000 years. The Humans don’t know about the First Kingdom of Samuel the Devil King, who ruled with inspiration, kindness and vision, not fear. Salvos is merely someone who would fit right in with Samuel’s old people, to the point where he ends up actually adopting her as his daughter, and she instantly befriends his viceroy Belphegor when they meet. Humans think Regnorex and his Demons are typical, but they are merely a pathological branch that’s been developing for a long time, and they have a short historical memory.

Humans call the Demons a scourge of the Nexeus, but the Demons used to hang around freely with Spirits, Dragons, High Elves and ancient Humans. They explored sophisticated magic, participated in sophisticated world politics and were seen as merely another species. In fact, Kobolds see Demons as not much different than Spirits; Elves have little to no idea about them, and no prejudice. It’s just Humans that have a problem with… well, everybody except the Spirits, in fact. So, if something is alien but good, it must be a Spirit. Humans, in fact, have a thick wall of prejudice against Demons, that Salvos has to overcome each time with them, but which doesn’t exist with any other species. She befriended a Fairy, a Kobold, multiple Elves, a Spirit and multiple monsters, but with Humans it’s always “Demon! Let’s kill it!” at first. Centina has a similar situation where everybody hates the Centinels, but in both cases, you can’t say the prejudice is unwarranted. The Centinels just kill everything and are completely irrational, and Demons occasionally pop up in the human lands and just kill everyone indiscriminately. Both species are terrible pests that ravage the Human lands. So, why would there not be prejudice against them? There’s 10000 years of history behind the prejudice, and no known exceptions. And Salvos has to concede that. She hates being looked down upon for being a Demon, but when she sees what other Demons are doing there, she can’t blame the humans for drawing the obvious conclusions. Instead, she turns her rage at Regnorex, whose fault it truly is. She’s not stupid the way humans would be, and ask not to be discriminated against as if it were a right. No, she puts real effort into making things right first, and then hopes to be judged fairly.

So, as you can see, it’s this complexity and nuance of the whole thing that I find fascinating.

Season

We just returned from Hvar town; I couldn’t resist taking the new lens for a spin.

My opinion? The lens did well, but I was at ISO 12800 too much for my taste. The f/1.2 GM would do a better job here, but I knew that already. This, however, was quite good, and not in anybody’s face.

And while we’re at that, I’m counting days until the season ends and we have peace and quiet back.

Why read it?

It crossed my mind that some people are wondering how come I’m reading fantasy novels where Demon is the main protagonist, every character and social role was intentionally written to subvert expectations and, in fact, reality, the central premise of the meta-series is the existence of a Multiverse which I am known for detesting as an idea, and where God obviously doesn’t exist in any way anyone who believes in God would recognize.

This will be sort of hard to explain, but not for the reasons one would suspect.

One of the reasons is that I have a good ability of abstract reasoning. I can, for instance, separate the literary form from the purport. I can read Harry Potter without thinking it’s about witchcraft and magic. Witchcraft and magic are literary instruments. The purport is the power of love to conquer even death, the purport is to attack white or even euro-centric purists as essentially Hitler and Satan by means of metaphor and literature. The purport is that J.K.Rowling doesn’t believe in God, but believes in good human qualities having cosmic consequences and is a raging leftist who got her comeuppance at the first thing she ever dared to disagree with the “tolerant” mob, which is now crucifying her for daring to state that being a woman is an actual thing and not something you can proclaim yourself to be if you feel like it, and there’s such a thing as actual biology which makes women have female genitals and give birth, and which makes “trans-women” just men with weird things in their heads, the way a “trans-black” would be merely a non-black crazy person. Basically, unlike that mob that’s so tolerant of all kinds of “minorities” that they instantly crucify anyone who’s clinging on to rationality and reality even slightly, I can actually accept that people are in all sorts of places and have all sorts of issues and ideas and I can work with anything for the sake of an argument; I can leave people be and sort themselves out. I don’t have to separate the world into people who are good because they agree with me in everything, and people who are evil because they have a different opinion on something. Even Gods will have different opinions on certain things. Different opinions are scary only to the dogmatic, ideological cultists, which is a description that fits the American left perfectly. They are completely fucking insane, and the only way to argue with them correctly is to reject absolutely everything they stand for without compromise.

One of those things that I absolutely reject is the concept of universal equality. It has no grounds in reality, it has evil outcomes and needs to be rejected outright. And, interestingly, despite the fact that the “Salvos” series and the “Deltaverse” in general are full of people with blue, green and pink hair, all kinds of good characters were intentionally made gay or trans for no good reason other than politics, and the worst hypocritical bastards were intentionally made to resemble Christian religious figures and clergy, there’s one interesting thing about that world. It’s meritocratic. There are quantifiable metrics of progress along different lines of possible evolution, there are Titles for special achievements, there are Classes that encapsulate specialization, and so on. You can’t just say you feel like being something and everybody is forced to pretend that it’s reality out of fear of a political mob destroying their lives. You can’t switch species, Class or just claim a Title or a Level. It needs to be real. You can fake things to a point with magic or artifacts, but there are people who can see through that and then you’re in trouble. So, basically, the world itself enforces objective, quantifiable metrics that oppose bullshit and fakery.

Also, unlike people who are afraid of reading books that don’t align perfectly with their ideology, lest they somehow lose their ideological purity, I read all kinds of stuff. That’s probably why I have a brain in good functioning order, and they are dumb cultists. I can separate layers of nuance and work with it until I see where it all leads, and whether I can find something useful there. I also don’t have to like the author in order to read the book and find it interesting or fascinating. I don’t feel the need to immediately draw conclusions and separate things and people along ideological lines. For all I know, Melas might be a raging leftist who got indoctrinated into the neomarxist cult while studying some social science stuff in America, and now he’s interweaving this ideology with whatever he touches, and he’s so socially interconnected with other such fanatics that it’s all completely evil and beyond sanity. Or maybe he’s trying to find his way through this by writing stuff that’s going to solve his problem. I can’t actually tell, and it’s his thing to deal with. However, unlike those leftist fanatics, I can let people be, and deal with their own shit as best they can. Also, I can read whatever the hell I feel like reading.

Very nifty

The FE 50mm f/2.5 G lens arrived this morning:

My set of small lenses is now complete; the Sigma 24mm f/3.5 DG DN, Sony FE 28-60mm f/4-5.6 collapsible kit zoom, and Sony FE 50mm f/2.5 G.

You may ask what’s the point. Well, I do already have bigger and optically stellar lenses, but the thing with those is that they are occasionally too big for me to just carry around when I’m out for a walk without any particular photographic aim in mind, but I still want to have a good camera in order to catch something that caught my eye unexpectedly.

FE 50mm f/1.8

The thing is, despite the fact that I love the effect they produce, I don’t always need the extreme optics. When I’m using the FE 50mm f/1.2 GM at f/8, and I do, there’s not much difference between that and a much lighter lens; they would both do excellently. Sometimes, I don’t need anything more extreme than my old Zuiko Digital 14-54mm f/2.8-3.5 did for me, and that’s a Four Thirds sensor at f/3.5. It did many things brilliantly. It would be silly to get a whole different camera system just so that I could have a light walkaround setup, but it’s quite possible to have such a setup on 35mm Sony; you just have to sacrifice aperture. So, essentially, I have the smaller A7CR camera, three small lenses with brilliant but “slow” optics, and the whole system is not really pocketable, but the lenses are. The camera itself with one lens on it would probably fit in my winter jacket, but I haven’t tried it. 🙂

So, what can this new 50mm do in closeup photography? I did a quick test:

That’s wide open at minimum focusing distance. Bokeh is good in non-backlit conditions, and actually better than I feared it would be in harsh, backlit conditions. There is some spherochromatism but barely noticeable, and although the lens doesn’t render the background out of toffee the way GM lenses do, I am quite pleased with what it does, if I consider it from a Four Thirds perspective. Also, it can get quite close for a 50mm, which helps to blur out the background. The colours are modern, which means excellent and neutral. Contrast is great, sharpness is excellent, I haven’t had the opportunity to test it against flare yet, and CA seem to be minimal. We’ll see how it does when I actually take it for a spin. But so far, so good.

Edit: I did the first shoot.

The images are extremely detailed corner to corner. It outresolves the 61MP sensor and is probably designed for a 100MP sensor. The colours are excellent, as I expected. GM level of image quality.

Flare with sun in the frame. There isn’t any.

The ability to blur out the background for such shots is excellent. Also, notice spherochromatism on the blurred-out grass. It’s slight, but it’s there.

Extreme sharpness and nice separation of the planes wide open.

All in all, the image quality is stellar, from wide open to diffraction limit. I highly recommend the lens.

Sin, error and flaw

I just thought that this entire line of thought connects very nicely with my ideas about sin and error.

Now that I think of it, I think it’s even more complicated. It’s sin, error, flaw and lack of ability.

Sin is when you have fundamental misalignment between your soul and God. Sin is when God would do one thing, and it’s the thing you would hate and despise, and you would do differently, or even opposite. For instance, if we take the “Salvos” series, the horned demon is sinful. He’s more strategic about killing others and recruiting minions than the wild demons, who are like beasts that just attack everything that moves, but he’s on a path that would have resulted in him becoming a supervillain like Belzu, Jofis or Regnorex had Salvos not interfered and killed him. If you’re sinful, evil is normal and desirable, while goodness is contemptible. Evil is a spiritual orientation of the soul relative to God.

Error, on the other hand, is when you’re trying to do something, and it ends up being the opposite of what you wanted. Essentially, a good person in error will do bad things, and I guess an evil person in error will do good things. Error is a difference between a desired and actual outcome. Error is how you learn that your understanding, methods and practices need to be improved.

A flaw is something different; it’s a difference between what your soul, your mind, emotions, thoughts and actions should be based on your spiritual orientation and choices, and what they actually are in reality. A flaw is something you have, something you then recognize, understand and correct. A flaw is something you don’t tolerate, as a rule. It’s the difference between where you want to be and where you are.

Lack of ability is something that might be important, in which case you need to work on acquiring the desired ability, but it can also be irrelevant. For instance, if you have multiple major talents, but you suck at music, you can shrug it off and say it’s not your thing to do in this life. However, if you’re a musician, and you can’t do a particular thing related to music, this is a problem that needs to be handled the way flaws are handled in the context of spiritual growth: learn, correct, acquire, practice, get better. In the example of Salvos, her life depends on getting better at fighting enemies, so she practices tirelessly and grows stronger. Her social skills suck, it interferes with her ability to integrate into society and so she learns and gets better at it. She first looks like a demon, then like a brat, then like an eccentric adventurer, and then like an eccentric super-Mage. She always appears quirky, but her quirks are accepted as something typical for extremely talented people. Weird, but good weird. On the other hand, her handwriting is terrible, and remains terrible, because it never stood in her way enough for her to spend time practicing. She doesn’t just automatically get good at something. Also, she needs to prioritise. She only has so many hours in a day. Either she’ll practice alchemy, space magic, creation magic and combat skills, or she’ll practice shopping and handwriting. Something has to go, and often her friends and companions fill in the gaps for her; she’s only one person, she’s young, extremely busy and just can’t get to everything. So, that’s a good approach to the lack of ability. If it matters, you need to deal with it seriously. If it doesn’t matter, you need to make choices and prioritise; you’re always going to suck at most things. You just need to take care not to suck at things that matter to you in this life.