When I said that atheism is fatal for a soul, I knew what some reactions will be: “oh, aren’t we supposed to have free will?”

Let me just roll my eyes first before I continue.

Free will is incredibly misunderstood. People think it means that whatever you choose, you’re guaranteed good outcomes. That kind of free will doesn’t exist. Rather, freedom is a dangerous thing where you are allowed to destroy yourself and there’s no safety net, because that would negate your freedom.

Also, people sometimes rightfully think that free will can’t be complete if you don’t actually have options that you would want to choose. Yes, you can’t choose to be immortal, twenty years younger, you can’t choose to go to Mars and see what the weather is like and so on.

In reality, your freedom looks like this: you live in a tall building, and you can go down using stairs, elevator or you can jump through the window. Jumping through the window is definitely an option for you, but choosing it will almost always have a bad outcome. However, if there’s a fire, using the elevator might have the worst outcome because it will stop and you will suffocate, and jumping through the window might save you if the fire department has some sort of a cushion ready for you.

Similarly, you can have multiple bottles. One contains water, the other contains drain cleaner, the third contains hydrocyanic acid, and the fourth contains raw sewage. You have freedom to choose what you will drink, but only one option has a guaranteed good outcome. You can complain that this isn’t really freedom, but tough shit. It is realistic that you will sometimes find yourself in a situation where you have no good options to choose from, or only one good option that you don’t personally like. If you dug yourself into a very deep hole, your options won’t be good, and realistically they are likely to get worse unless a miracle happens. You can say this isn’t justice, but tough shit, that’s what it is. Likewise, for someone who did good things billion years in a row, almost all options are good, great or better. They have options and they can create more options, and their character is such that there’s almost an absolute certainty that they will choose something excellent and have great outcomes. You can say that this isn’t justice, but tough shit – you do great things for a billion years and someone will complain about you having it too good. Until then, feel free to suck it up.

People who assume that freedom means they should have options to choose from are usually children who don’t know how the world works. In order to have options, you have to create them. For instance, if you want to buy good food, you need money. In order to get money, you need a job. In order for that job to pay well enough to actually give you options, you need to be qualified and actually provide a service for others who will want to pay you money for it. Then, as you have money, you have all sorts of options – what car to buy, what food to eat, what clothes to wear, and so on. If you don’t have money, you can wipe your arse with your free will.

The smaller a soul, the more limited their free will. Someone like Goddess can go and create a Universe by snapping her fingers if she feels it’s a good idea. You can’t. You can’t even visit another Universe that someone else created. You’ll probably have difficulties travelling to another continent, let alone world, let alone Universe. No power, no options, no freedom, and your choices are usually not including anything you would actually like. If you’re in something like Ukraine, your options might be between dying from an infection in your apartment, or seeking medical aid and being deported to the front where you will get killed within two days. Some have a choice between begging for food or starving, while someone else might have a choice between filet mignon and grilled salmon. There’s no equality, and there shouldn’t be – there is, however, justice. If you fucked up badly for hundreds of years, don’t expect good choices or good outcomes. For any improvement, you’ll need to work twice as hard as everybody else to have tenth of a result they’ll be having, and that’s if you do everything right, which you likely won’t, because inertia of your many fuckups will condition you to fuck up easily and not fuck up only with great difficulty. If you are a saint who spent hundreds of years doing everything right, continuing to do everything right will come by inertia, and fucking up will be completely counterintuitive and unnatural. Is it “right” that people who fuck up have greater likelihood of a bad destiny, and people who did everything right have greater likelihood of a good destiny? The question doesn’t even pose itself, as equality of outcomes doesn’t exist as a concept in God’s book. Let me repeat: you don’t have a right to have an equal outcome to someone else if you made different choices, because choices are not something foolish like choosing chocolate ice cream over vanilla. If you treat people poorly, they will not like you. Complaining that you had different outcomes from someone who treated people with kindness is foolish.

Also, there’s that question of confession and forgiveness of sin, that Catholics always ask. If you confess a sin and repent for it, and you are forgiven, and then you sin again, and you repent and are forgiven, can you just keep doing that and be safe?

No. Actions have consequences, in a sense that they change you. If you do something bad, and repent, that’s fine, but if you repeat that process for long enough, it means that your act of repentance isn’t genuine and it very quickly ceases to have any meaning, and in fact adds a sin of hypocrisy onto your initial sin, making your situation worse. Also, sin is like carving a path through the woods by the very fact of traversing the woods. Every next time you’re going through the woods, you’ll be more likely to choose the easier path that you already cleared, than to deliberately clear another, alternative path. Basically, sin conditions you the way a magnet magnetises iron. The more you do it, the more likely you are to continue doing it, and even if you choose to repent, the consequences aren’t going to just disappear, and staying on the right path is going to be harder for you than for someone else who did things the right way.

Yes, you can abandon your life of sin and choose another path, the way a river can abandon its usual path and choose another. You tell me how often that happens. So, treat sin the way you’d treat a charged revolver pointed to your head. Free will and having a choice are something that needs to be understood correctly, which means that sometimes you have one actual choice, and the rest of your life might be merely following gravity downhill. You might not have a second chance, and nobody gives a shit whether you think something is just or not. People treat free will as if it’s an ice cream stand, and whatever you choose, it’s going to be either good or great. No. Free will is like seeing a mob spit on some fellow that’s being whipped while carrying his cross to the execution site and you can choose between joining the mob or choosing to be crucified beside that guy, and which choice is easier is going to be determined by the quality of character you developed in your spiritual evolution until that point. One choice is going to have a terrible outcome for you, the other is going to have an excellent outcome, and there are other choices that are going to have various outcomes – you can leave and do nothing, and that’s going to trouble you, and so on, but eventually, you’re going to find yourself in a terrible situation where one choice is fatal, one choice is excellent, and you don’t know which is which. What you’re going to do is hardly random, because people are not equal, and not all choices are equally appealing or repulsive to all people. Your character matters, and your character is the sum of all your prior choices and actions, it’s not something that just happens, and your freedom of choice isn’t unconditional or actually free – it’s conditioned by your character, or, more precisely, by the structure of your soul, which is why losers are more likely to lose in every next iteration, while winners are more likely to win.

Is that fair?

Yes.

I keep mentioning Satanism, so I might as well explain what I mean. By Satanism, I mean Sanat Kumar’s actual ideology that led to this whole ordeal. It’s the ideology of resentment – basically, I’m failing not because of my own inadequacies, but because others are keeping me down. Everybody who appears to be better than me is so because of injustice inflicted upon me, because they stole something that should have been mine, because they are using the system to keep me down. They are beautiful because they are ugly, and I look ugly because I’m a victim.

That’s the core of it, and if you think about it, you’ll see that communism, feminism, Nazism, the ideology of the French revolution, the ideology of the October revolution, Culture Revolution, all the slaughters and injustices of modernity, they are all based on the same resentment ideology of Satanism. Basically, they are to blame, and if they are destroyed, everything will be better. Originally, Sanat Kumar resented the persons of God and the great spiritual beings in whose shadow he squirmed like a worm. Later, his followers found someone else to blame. Whether it’s the poor blaming the rich for their poverty and embracing communism, or lesbians blaming patriarchy for the fact that they have a limited pool of potential girlfriends and embracing feminism, or outright Satanists blaming God for whatever and praising Satan’s “rebellion”, as they think of it, not knowing how he cowered before the Sentinel like a weak maggot in fear that his plans will end before they properly began, doesn’t matter one bit. It’s all the same spiritual condition – basically, you’re not accepting responsibility and taking agency, and instead of taking steps to improve yourself and your condition, you wallow in victimhood and plot how to destroy all who make you feel inferior.

The mindset is pervasive in this world because it reflects the character of its designer, and it’s very easy to get caught in it if you share some of the character of Satan, and you do because otherwise you would hardly be here at all.

The cornerstone of Satanism is to find someone to blame for something that is probably just a natural state of things; Zipf’s law encompasses things like frequency of words in a language, size of trees in a forest, size of corporations, size of massive objects in the Universe. The big ones are going to be really big, and if you’re really small, it can look daunting. However, if you try to compare yourself to them with an expectation that equality should be the norm, you will grow resentful. Equality is not the norm. Equality isn’t even a thing. Lord Vishnu isn’t greater than a worm because he stole something from the worm. He’s greater because he became what the unmanifested Absolute wanted to be in the Relative, and the worm… didn’t. Sanat Kumar is that resentful worm that would try to bite the Lord’s foot if he wasn’t completely overcome by fear, and he hated both his fear and the ones who caused him to feel it in his insignificance. He didn’t feel fear because that was God’s intent – he felt fear because he wanted to compare himself to the Great Lords and Ladies of Heaven, and knew he fell short to the point where he was completely insignificant, and rather than react with something constructive, such as “damn, they are so awesome, I need to work hard to become like that one day because that’s the only destiny I care for”, he reacted with rivalry and resentment. He considered it beneath him to enter a Lord’s service and learn from a Master. That’s what Satan had in common with all those “strong independent women” and “alpha males” here, who want so serve no one, who want to be masters of their own fate, and who are mere incarnations of that resentment principle that echoes throughout Satan’s creation, because it all carries the character of its creator. If you bought into it, it doesn’t mean you are strong and independent; rather, it means you’re so weak, that you developed no individuality beyond the satanic echo of the global astral field. To develop the ability to admire, adore, serve and love your spiritual superiors, is the true rebellion here, because to do that you need to grow enough spine to oppose the Siren’s song of the astral field that fills your mind with Satanic resentment and nonsense.

One might ask why God even had that idea about giving immature souls the ability to access Divine power of Creation? How does that help anything?

You know that Satanist argument, how God is a tyrant who doesn’t give souls the right to choose for themselves what they want to be and how to live their lives? It’s not new, and Satan himself and probably many like him had made it before this world was made. Basically, they would say that God created the world as he liked it, not asking them what they would like or what kind of a world they would want to live in. God also makes all the rules and his existence and presence is obvious as an evolutionary attractor, not allowing for any alternatives. They wanted “freedom to choose”, and when you strip that of bullshit and propaganda, you get small souls envious of the fact that they always have to be aware of the fact that they are small, because they keep meeting the big ones. The argument that the good world is too good and thus doesn’t allow them the freedom of choice is of course nonsense – it’s essentially “You keep feeding us good food all the time, but what if we want to eat garbage and excrement? We want to be free to do it.” There was another argument that actually had a valid point: lots of souls in heaven were actually total assholes who couldn’t be effectively revealed as such because they lacked opportunity. Sure, Satan hoped that all souls bigger than him would be discredited and destroyed and he could say “I told you so, there’s nobody who’s actually better than me”, but the possibility that a significant number of souls, who looked good in heaven, would turn out to be whores and politicians if given opportunity, that actually stood unanswered, and is probably the reason why God relented and gave them everything they wanted, but with all the necessary safeguards. Basically, if a non-God soul wanted to create something, they first had to convince someone who was probably the best of their own kind, and if he thought it was safe enough, you could go right ahead.

So, the Satanists have it completely wrong. It’s not God who is a tyrant. If anything, God went above what I would consider good sense in allowing the souls to do whatever the fuck they want. If there’s anyone who actually wanted to be a tyrant and rule with fear and intimidation, but lacked the power and authority to do so, it was Sanat Kumar, their beloved Satan. So, the whole “rebellion against authority” thing is barking at the wrong tree.

People are never satisfied. First they were complaining that God doesn’t allow them the freedom to eat shit, and now that they have to eat shit they complain that God is a cunt who made an evil world where they can’t even see him and they have to eat shit. They were complaining that God created the world where assholes can’t be revealed and discredited, and now that they themselves are revealed and discredited for being assholes, they complain that God is cruel for allowing so many souls to be destroyed and for creating a world where poor children and puppies die.

How about go fuck yourselves for a change? Eh?

I could go on about various things that get souls destroyed in this world; for instance, atheism/materialism is spiritually fatal, and this world is the only place that creates conditions that make it a possibility. The souls, of course, carry a deep conviction of God’s existence within themselves from the real world, so they for the most part instinctively embrace some form of religion, because it “makes sense”, but some who hated God and always wished he didn’t exist or died, see this place as a haven full of possibility. Of course, for a soul atheism is suicidal; it negates the conditions that make its existence possible, because a soul lives only because it maintains a transcendental connection to the Absolute, through all its kalapas. Negating God is up there with all other terrible sins a soul can commit if it wants to destroy itself, and this world facilitates that by design.

So, one can feel fully justified in asking why creation of this world was allowed in the first place, and who is to blame? There must be some sort of responsibility for this, because it’s like digging up a deep hole in the ground, covering it with a carpet, putting advertisement and sign posts pointing to that direction promising great stuff, and when someone falls in, you say it’s their fault; you didn’t drop them in, you just dug up a hole, posted false advertisement to trick the gullible, and covered the hole so that its nature wouldn’t be obvious. When we put it like that, this is not a world, it’s a crime scene.

However, things are not that simple. Responsibility for this place is layered. The first, fundamental responsibility lies with God who created the necessary conditions that made this possible, by creating the Jewel, and allowing someone lesser than himself to allow or deny access. We can further reduce this part to the desire to allow lesser beings to have access to God’s creative power, because that was the motivation – God didn’t need the Jewel to create worlds, and if he himself guarded access, that would be the same as if saying that only he could use it. The point of lesser beings using creative power is for them to use it for purposes God wouldn’t think of, or allow. This is the reason why someone less than God had to be given the position of a Sentinel.

The second level of responsibility lies with the Sentinel, who did two things wrong: he allowed Sanat Kumar to create this hellhole, and he dismissed the warning.

The third level of responsibility lies with Sanat Kumar, who designed this world to be what it is, with full knowledge of what’s most likely to happen.

The fourth level of responsibility lies with the souls who discovered that this world allows for all kinds of things they always wanted to do, but had no option to do them – enslave, imprison, rape, maim and murder other beings, for instance. A large part of why this place is a hell is because of who lives here and what they like doing. Sure, a big part of suffering is caused by the world itself, but incarnate souls are certainly doing their part in making Satan’s dream come true.

So, without God taking pity on lesser beings and allowing them to use tools that are way above what they should normally have access to at their point of spiritual evolution, none of this would have happened. Without Sentinel being an arrogant fool, Sanat Kumar could do nothing. Without Sanat Kumar, who used the Jewel in order to create a godless dungeon that encourages evil and discourages devotion to God, the Jewel would probably be used for some benign purpose – and likely was, but we don’t know about it because it wasn’t a problem. And of course, without evil souls who used this place for all kinds of terrible things, it never would have become the hellhole it is now.

But let me be the Devil’s advocate here for a moment. I have a small axe, or you can call it a hatchet, that I use for splitting firewood when I’m making barbecue. It’s left here in the open on top of the box with wood. It’s not guarded or supervised, and yet nobody used it to split someone’s head open. There are also kitchen knives in the drawer, they are all unsupervised, and nobody used any of those to slaughter someone. There are cans of butane gas for the portable stove that I use for making breakfast when the electricity runs out, which sometimes happens here. Nobody had the brilliant idea of rigging the cans together and putting them on the induction stove to make a bomb. You can see what I’m getting at. If you have the mind of a criminal, you could use all kinds of harmless or otherwise useful objects for evil purposes. The fact that something exists that could potentially be abused doesn’t mean that the one creating the thing in question is responsible for a crime. People who make hatchets intended for people to use them for splitting wood or rough carpentry. People making kitchen knives intended for people to use them for cutting meat and vegetables. People making cars intended for people to use them for going places, not running into groups of people with intent of mass murder. It is implied that the responsibility for use of something lies on the user and not the manufacturer, except if the item itself is designed in ways that encourage evil use. For instance, if you design a truck with enforced structure and spikes and blades on the front, with intent of making it easier to injure people, that would count as designing something especially intended for evil uses. Manufacturing explosive devices that look like candy so that children would be encouraged to pick them up and be killed or maimed is also one such use, where the manufacturer is complicit in a crime. I don’t think the Jewel qualifies. He’s more like a computer that you can use to do whatever. If “whatever” means playing Super Mario, reading books, having some privacy or creating a VR of a magical forest with all kinds of beautiful things, nobody has a problem. There are, however, all kinds of uses that are a problem, but they are not a result of some malevolent use designed into the computer, but of malevolent aspects of human nature that use computers to create or watch child porn, trucks for vehicular homicide, and hatchets for splitting people’s heads open.

You can say that something as powerful as the Jewel shouldn’t have been left unsupervised. It wasn’t. However, the supervisor failed in his task. You can say the supervisor should have been someone better. Maybe, if there was a valid reason to suspect that Sentinel wouldn’t do a good job prior to the fact, he wouldn’t be appointed. It’s easy to be smart in hindsight. I was actually there and I warned the Sentinel not to grant access to Sanat Kumar, and he waved me off and even lectured me on developing more faith in God. If anyone is qualified to bitch about it, it’s me, and I’m not even sure what could have been done to prevent this mess other than not creating the Jewel in the first place, because it’s obvious now that giving non-Divine beings Divine power ultimately results in disaster. There’s a reason why great power comes with great wisdom and great holiness. Separating power from wisdom and holiness means to create conditions for great abuse of said power.

However, let’s make one thing clear. Sanat Kumar was a criminal and Sentinel was an idiot, but if it weren’t for the likes of you, Sanat Kumar would have created this world and listened to the crickets, because nobody would have gone in. All the arrogant souls wanted to test themselves, all the stupid ones rushed in and got wrecked, and all who wanted a place where they could live without God and be his enemies rushed in gladly. All the criminals who wanted to feel what it’s like to kill someone went in, thinking they finally found the true Heaven. The fact that all those souls got fucked here is not a tragedy. I guess one could say that God allowed creation of this place exactly because of his foresight, knowing that this will serve to purge Heaven of all kinds of bastards and scum, who will show their true colours here, be destroyed and the spiritual energy once contained in them will be freed and joined with better souls, all ultimately to the greater glory of God.

So, eventually it all depends on how you look at it. If you’re a bastard soul who went here because you thought you could do evil with impunity, or get an ego trip out of defeating Satan, you got fucked and now you’re whining and looking for someone to blame. Sorry, but fuck you. If you’re someone like myself who has to clean it up and it hurts like bloody hell, you’re complaining but you’re also growing bigger and more powerful so also, no tears should be shed over my fate. Sanat Kumar was already found guilty and killed for his crimes, so you can blame him all you want but he’s already been dealt with. You can blame the Sentinel for being an idiot, but he too is already dead so you can piss on his grave for all it will do. You can blame me for not intimidating the Sentinel and only using arguments, but he was put there to do his job and intimidating him into submission would defy the purpose of his post. You can blame God for creating the Jewel in the first place, and that’s a fair point, but please remind me why that even became a problem? Oh right, because there are asshole souls who wanted to use hatchets for killing people instead of splitting firewood, and please remind me why it’s actually bad that they all got destroyed?

As I said, it’s a complicated mess, and I’m not sure blaming anyone is the right sentiment. There are lessons to be learned, and there’s a mess to clean up, and there are hopefully ways to turn this into something good.