I came to a rather startling conclusion about the feminists, based on the presented evidence.

They hate women. They really, really hate women. They hate what women are, they hate what women do, but they deeply envy men and what they do, and basically they want everybody to be like men and nobody to be like women.

But let me explain, preferably from the beginning. In the beginning, if there is such a thing, you had a tribe of apes who walked upright, used tools and fire, and communicated mostly by spoken language. They either hunted or scavenged. They were hunted by the predators, and their existence was precarious at best. There was much that could keep you alive, and even more that could kill you.

When they were young, men and women hunted and scavenged together, because there wasn’t much of a difference between them. The female was slightly weaker but that mattered little, since the hominids were weaker than anything else around – either the predators or the prey. They didn’t manage to hunt an antelope because they were faster or stronger, or fight a leopard because they were stronger. They did those things because they were smarter, and they used spears, clubs and fire. The difference in strength mattered in interspecies conflicts, but since the men were protective with the females, the females didn’t feel an evolutionary pressure to develop physical strength. The men, however, merrily beat the shit out of each other and worked in dangerous environments, and the weaker ones didn’t survive long enough to reproduce.

So, the man and the woman who hunted and scavenged together got to like each other very much, and celebrated their successes by having sex, and since it was their favorite activity, the woman soon got pregnant. At one point, it started to get in the way of her activities and she had to stay at home, in the security of the cave or a kraal, whatever they had, and the man, who loved his friend and felt protective of her, now had to provide food for both of them. Other women kept her company during late pregnancy, childbirth and nursing, while the men formed a hunting party. Essentially, they organized themselves in a way that was mutually beneficial and had the best chance of keeping them alive. The roles were gradually genetically set, since the ones who didn’t abide by the laws of maximum efficiency had the least chance of surviving and reproducing. The fact that women gravitated toward the sheltered space in which children wouldn’t be eaten by the predators meant that they could do all the work that had to be done around the settlement – process meat, cure skins, manufacture tools, get wood for the fire, fix the roof etc., while the men, freed from the need to do the domestic chores, could go on longer hunting parties, farther away from home, and develop more complex hunting strategies. The women were grateful to the men for getting all the food and keeping them safe, while the men were grateful to the women for caring for them when they came back home almost dead with exhaustion. The two genders respected each other and cared for each other, each understanding that they couldn’t possibly survive and function without the help of the other. If you asked the women what they think about the men, they would say that the men are great – they hunt and provide, they protect, they make them feel safe and happy, basically the men are the best thing in the world. If you asked the men what they think about the women, they would say that the women are wonderful – they are beautiful and gentle and soft and lovable and fun, they take care of the home, they make you food and medicine when you’re hungry or injured, and they make you feel needed and loved which makes it possible to survive the terrible ordeals of life. Without women, you’d have nothing to go home to, and life wouldn’t really be worth living.

If you asked women how they feel about the difference between the work they do and the work men do, and if they envy men, they’d look at you as if you were crazy, because it was only day before yesterday that a lion attacked the kraal, and the men who protected the settlement fought him away with spears, and it was terribly scary. The lion was huge and angry and fast, but the men fought it away. She remembers how scared she was, how scared everybody was, and how heavily strained the men were after that, how close it was to somebody dying. She remembers how thankful she was for those three brave men with spears, who risked their lives so that she and her girlfriends and children would be safe. The least she could do was comfort the men by praising them, giving them something nice to eat and drink and be happy with them that everybody is alive. Envy men? She would piss herself with fear if she had to stand in front of that huge lion with a sharp stick. Thank all the gods that there are men who love women and protect them from that. Also, recently one of the men died. The hunters followed a herd of antelopes and a rhinoceros suddenly attacked them. One of the men was gored and trampled by the huge beast. The other men brought him to the kraal, but he died in great agony before the end of the day. It was terrible to watch; that man was a friend, he was kind and brave and now he is dead. Envy the men? How fucking stupid are you? I get to stay in safety, doing the things that can be hard and tiresome, but also rewarding and safe – I get to make useful things, I keep the fire going, make tools and clothes and food. I get to teach my children how to do things and talk to them. Everything I do is useful and rewarding and I am happy to be able to do it. I wish I could help men more. I am always tired at the end of the day, but I am never as tired as the hunters when they return from the hunting expedition. They look completely exhausted and some of them have a dead look in their eyes which takes days to go away, as if they have seen terrible things and their spirit is still frozen in the place of that fear. I think how I felt when that huge lion came, and I think about all the other horrors the men experienced out there, and what could possibly make a man, who faced a lion with nothing but a sharp stick, have his spirit frozen in such a way. Men are good and brave, but we need to care for them so that they can recover from the horrors and hardships, because they are our shield and our spear that protects us from the lions of the world.

Now cue in the feminists. Oh, the men have all the fun in the world, they get to fuck around with other guys while the women do all the hard and unrewarding work just so that the men could have their free room service. What men do is real life, that’s what emancipates you and makes you a proper human being, that’s what gives you glory and achievement, while being a woman is worthless, it’s simply being a slave, a servant to men.

As I said, I came to a startling conclusion about the feminists.

They hate women. They really, really hate women. They hate what women are, they hate what women do, but they deeply envy men and what they do, and basically they want everybody to be like men and nobody to be like women. The feminists are women’s worst enemy, because they don’t want there to be any women, only men with vaginas. The men, however, have always, throughout history, been women’s best friends, lovers and protectors. The man is the one who will stand between a woman and a leopard, armed with a club, and tell a woman how wonderful she is and how much he appreciates her. A feminist is the one who will stand between a woman and a man, armed with her poisonous tongue, and tell woman how worthless she is compared to a man, and how she needs to compete with the man and tell him how she doesn’t need him anymore.

In our modern society, we no longer have lions and leopards as dangerous predators. But we do have the feminists and the social justice warriors, and that’s not a change for the better, because the insidious parasites can often do more damage.