I’ve been sort of absent lately, for several reasons. First, I get depressed from following all the political and societal trends; observing the depraved nature of godless people only reminds me that I am far from where I want to be, and this is not pleasant, to put it mildly. Second, I put on too much weight from just sitting behind the desk and eating all day, so I had to lose weight and put on some muscle. Third, there are difficulties at work that demanded my attention. And fourth, I didn’t feel like writing because it felt redundant; many things that sounded almost crazy when I first wrote about them, became all too obvious now, too obvious for me to even say “I told you so”.

So, I had a prolonged vacation, if you can call it that, from September to mid-November, where I worked mainly on getting my body into shape: water fast, and then ketogenic diet with 8:16 intermittent fasting. Body mass went from 94.7 kg to 82.5 kg. Upper body muscle mass went up enough to replace all the fat with muscle; I can do a hundred push-ups before breakfast now. I still have problems with my back, and those might be the most difficult ones to fix because I’m still sitting most of the day, and that’s just how it is, especially during the winter. I’m off the ketogenic diet now; my physical condition no longer requires such radical interventions, and it took too much effort to maintain for me to even consider it long-term. 

My oldest kid is in high school now, and it’s quite a difficult one (MIOC) so this was stressful. Also, my car was 14 so that needed to be replaced; that was initially expensive but regular maintenance is now reduced to filling it up and cleaning leaves from the windshield. At one point when I played some music for my son on my computer I decided that I’m too old to waste what’s left of my hearing on computer speakers, so I got a proper HiFi set as my computer audio output – NAD C-316BEE V2 amplifier, PSB imagine XB speakers, NAD C538 CD, and I connected it all to my computer’s digital output via a DAC (which is actually a CD player unit my brother made 20 years ago, and since the CD drive died of old age, I re-purposed it). Now I no longer need to use headphones if I want to hear what something actually sounds like. If all of this sounds as if I’m finding inconsequential things to do so that I don’t go crazy thinking about what’s actually going on, then you’re getting the right picture. Although, going crazy might actually feel like an improvement, compared to full awareness. I don’t feel like trying it out, so I’m left with fixing inconsequential things and waiting for either a nuclear blast, or God’s mercy. Whichever comes first.