From: amckeon@hsmail.nfld.k12.mn.us
To: kundalini-l@execpc.com
Subject: Some Needed Levity

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List:

   * Taoism: Shit happens.
   * Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
   * Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
   * Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
   * Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
   * Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
   * Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
   * Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
   * Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
   * Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
   * Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
   * Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
   * Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you   
     serve the right wine with it.
   * Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve 
     grape juice with it.
   * Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as 
     good as shit that happens to another.
   * Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit

     that happens to another.
   * Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
   * Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you 
     are born again. (Amen!)
   * Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
   * Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
   * Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
   * Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
   * Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
   * Creationism: God made all shit.
   * Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
   * Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
   * Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
   * Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
   * Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
   * Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
   * Darwinism: This shit was once food.
   * Capitalism: That's MY shit.
   * Communism: It's everybody's shit.
   * Feminism: Men are shit.
   * Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
   * Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
   * Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
   * Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
   * Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
   * Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
   * Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
   * Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
   * Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
   * Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
   * Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
   * Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
   * Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
   * Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show

     you some of our shit?
   * Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent;

     only the righteous shall survive its happening.
   * Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
   * Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
   * Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
   * Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
   * Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
   * Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
   * Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
   * Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
   * Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
   * Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
   * Atheism: What shit?
   * Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
   * Nihilism: No shit.

Enjoy!
amckeon





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